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Crumple Fuck

To crumple up an important document or item in front of the items owner, followed by throwing the crumpled item on a desk or the floor.
Bro, the sergeant walked over to me, snatched my birthday card out of my hands, crinkled it up and threw it on the floor! Yeah, dude, the sergeant crumple fucked the birthday card my momma sent to me, too.
by M.E.A.T November 8, 2020
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crumplestiltskin

Having an extremely intense bowel movement that requires a long duration of pushing and squeezing while "ghost-pedaling" an imaginary gold spinning loom while hunched over.
Dude, I ate sushi for lunch and mexican for dinner, I gotta stop home and bust a crumplestiltskin.
by ptoohey October 6, 2006
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crumperture

A game daily played by bored office workers sitting in their office blocks.

This game is played with two people.
One willing and one not.
We will call the willing Team A
we will call non willing Team B

Team A waits for the perfect time. The busiest hour of the day where all office blocks are quite. (It is important to have from 30-100 ripped out papers available). Once there is complete quite Team A repeatedly takes out a paper and crumbles it as loudly and awkwardly as possible. Team B will either get curious or greatly annoyed by the 15th paper. Team A scoring is as follows
1 point- Team B kindly asks them to stop
2 points- Team B asks them to stop in a rather demanding tone
3 points- Team B tells them to stop.
ex: Stop!
5 points- They are warned to stop
ex: I swear to god dennis if you dont stop
7 points- They are screamed at
ex: You lousy motherfucker stop that shit!
10 points- If they are physically abused
ex: One more fucking time dennis and i'll bash your head in :reaches over and chockes team a:
Auto win: If Team B quits job
If Team A gets too 30 points they win
If Team B ignores Team A, Team B auto wins because Team A did not get any points.
If Team A gets more than no points but less than thirty nobody wins.

Hypothetically Team A always wins. Cause its cool like that.

Winner gets satisfaction.
" Stop that shit Jimmy Fuck this shit i quite"

"Haha! I jsut fucking won?"

"what?""Oh shit!""Fine man you won this time"

thats crumperture for you!
by dennisd95 January 19, 2009
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Crumple Crotch

a person who has cellulite so thick on their inner thigh's that when it reaches their "cookie"spot, all you can see is beat-up, dimpled BACON STRIPS.
(QUITE AN UNFORTUNATE EVENT TO OCCUR)
chunksahoy! there crumple crotch!!
by Miss Kali Kaos March 14, 2009
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crumpled

The act, process, or state of being totally fucked up. Usually off an assortment of liquor, beer, and drugs.
Jeff: Want to get crumpled tonight?
Roman: Definitely, I'll get the booze!

Andrew: Man, Kevin got so crumpled last night.
by Big Rig123 December 4, 2016
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crumper

Crumper is a derogatory term used against british people. It comes from the word crumpet (= someone who eats crumpet), following the stereotype that british people eat crumpets.
"This guy has a funny accent. I think he might be a crumper."
by rxzpxtxn September 14, 2020
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Cock Crumper

When the girl you are having sex with is doing the work on top and once your D*** falls out of her P**** (while you still have a boner) she sits on it and it bends backwards in an uncomfortable position.
Dude I was Screwing your mom last night and it went horrible! She is such a cock crumper!
by Happy A tha Clown October 20, 2009
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