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cranking the hog

Masturbation, usually in a more aggressive manner.
Hey man, I was cranking the hog last night and my roommate almost walked in.
by Astrobadgr March 26, 2017
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carning

the act of giving your poker chips away via playing poor hands and using bad judgement. This usually happens after you score a big pot and are in decent chip position during a tournament.
Greg Den Haese is carning his chips again.
by Kewlb July 28, 2004
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Cranking

The act of crying and wanking (masturbation)at the same time.
This term comes from 'Ye Olde English' originating from the reign of King Henry VIII and his desperation in not being able to produce a male heir to carry on the Tudor dynasty. It was discovered by a lowly servant who stumbled upon the King in floods of tears and covered in copious amounts of semen. This information was a state secret until 2007 when it was released under Freedom of Information Act.
'Last night I watched Hugh Grant in Love Actually it was a performance of a lifetime it touched me in so many ways I just had to have a crank'
'Every since I heard my Mum and Dad had died in a horrible dolphin accident I've had to crank myself to sleep every night'
'Late at night after his girlfriend had gone to sleep Steven Peters Matthews would slowly crank over her delicate jawline'

Mohinder: Hey guys do you all wanna go to the beach and catch some waves and then afterwards we can go to Chad's house and have communal crank'
Bruce: That sounds totally crazy sick Mohinder I'll give Chuck a ring he loves cranking'

'Man I just watched Schindler's List, it was like totally sad but that little girl in the red coat was so hot i just had to have a crank'.

'The other day I was having a glorious wank in the woods when I saw a cute bunny rabbit get brutally mutilated by a hedgehog it turned my once in a lifetime wanking experience into a mournful cranking session'
by Malcom McCroat February 13, 2009
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Carailing

Ca.rail.ing

Definition: To stumble and meander into people or objects whilst under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

Often occurs after a few too many Jägerbomb's in Queenstown.
"She was completely smashed lastnight, carailing all over the place"

He carailed right into that guy.
by Cloudz October 21, 2012
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Cranking the Horn

Masturbating in a comedic fashion. Or to masturbate as a means of time-wasting for mild enjoyment.
Guy 1: What did you do at the weekend?
Guy 2: Nothing much just sat at home cranking the horn.
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, beating my soldier, caressing my shaft, you know, treating the little guy.
Guy 1: Ohhhhh, yeh same, I wanked until it hurt me physically. We really need girlfriends.
by CrankingMyHorn October 25, 2022
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Cranking a semi

Having half an erection at the thought of something quite arousing. Not quite full blown but at the same time not quite a flopster.

Other words can be used in replacing cranking, including:

-Nursing
-Pending
-Streaming
etc.
The girl walked by and the boy smiled, only when she looked at him with disgust did he realise he had been cranking a semi.

Ted studdied the Bellaby Continuum with pleasure before realising he was cranking a semi.
by twkomg June 24, 2008
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Craning

The act of somebody actively pretending to be minding their own business and diligently completing their own work, but in reality sticking their head out, like a crane, and copying their predator's hard work and claiming it to be their own.
Damn't Dylan, Quit craning my friggin homework!
by cranemaster123 May 19, 2014
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