Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
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-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

Penis

The penis is a magical instrument that you inject into the type of cheese called a vagina

Hey gals wanna hear my radical penis

by Giggity giggity it's quagmire March 30, 2021

Penis wrinkle

My friends a penis wrinkle

Holden is a penis wrinkle

by Ratchet hat November 17, 2021

whistle penis

A Whistle penis is when a dick is fully erect but still curverd down in the shape of a whistle

Im watching a porno and this guy has a whistle penis

by Whistle penisNator February 19, 2018

winter penis

The phenomenon where, in colder winter months, vasoconstriction leads to an average of 30% less girth in the male genitalia. This is due to the body trying to conserve heat, thereby shutting down certain blood pathways to stay warm; the penis being one of them...

Guy 1: Polar vortex hit this week, and I swear my dick shrunk like a half inch in diameter. I don't even want to show my girlfriend...

Guy 2: Sounds like a case of Winter Penis

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 3, 2019

Aster's penis

Noone's actually seen it, but legends say it's the biggest thing in the multiverse.
See Aster

"Woah, that building's almost as big as Aster's penis!"

by Asterical March 31, 2018

uncircumcised monkey penis

A fabulous piece of machinery that is all natural and organic. It gets the name money because it has hair like a monkey's for comfort pleasure.

My friend has a nice uncircumcised monkey penis, it gave me and his girlfriend good pleasure at work yesterday.

by Mr.grittypants69 April 29, 2022