Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 6, 2019

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020

Bidet tears

Bidet tears: when someone's tears are so pathetic you want to wipe your ass with them.

I wish my ex would stop trying to guilt me into a mercy fuck with his bidet tears.

by anonymous January 23, 2022

american bidet

Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.

My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.

by Khalfani Lisimba April 19, 2018

American Bidet

The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.

Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.

by Mjku December 22, 2014

The Bidet

When you spread a girls ass cheeks apart and piss on her butthole

“Yeah I gave Mary the bidet last night”

by BigBasstard August 7, 2023

trashy bidet

When you take a shit so big and dense that the toilet water splashes up onto your ass hole.

Dude, I took a shit so big I got a trashy bidet.

by Bidet boss October 12, 2017