verbally masturbate

(v.) to derive excessive pleasure by dominating a conversation, usually through bragging and a demonstration of extreme knowledge of a subject, lording it over other people

Dan couldn't stop verbally masturbating to Incubus; he even asked me what "A Certain Shade of Green" was about, despite knowing for a fact that I had never heard the song.

by The Ox June 5, 2003

masturbate

to pleasure oneself; to extract semen manually

Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.

by Skeet Masta May 17, 2006

Masturbate

Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick

I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in

by Humpty August 17, 2003

Masturbate

Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.

Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.

He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.

"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"

by PeckMcGee October 14, 2008

Masterbaiting

When you touch your own dick male to arouse yourself and jack off harddd ;))

When you finger your own pussy female to jack off hardd ;)))

I JACKED OFF BY MASTERBAITING MYSELF IN THE DICK, IT FELT SO GOOD. ;))

by ahh, harder daddy. ;)) March 17, 2020

masturbate

*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.

Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrotmasturbate?
-Source: George Carlin

by Aazn February 20, 2006

masturbate

when a man slowly and while getting quicker rubs his penis up and down when he is horny until he ejaculates. results in extreme satisfaction.

last night i walked in on my brother masturbating. it made me horny so i stole his playboy, took off all my clothes, and started to masturbate in my room.

by AlwaysBord April 14, 2007