texas chainsaw handjob

When a girl cuts off a dudes arm and jerks him off with it.

Meaning: " man what happened to your arm Billy ?"
Billy : "oh man shit with Rita got hot last night and she gave me a Texas chainsaw handjob"

Meaning: " man what happened to your arm Billy ?"
Billy : "oh man shit with Rita got hot last night and she gave me a Texas chainsaw handjob

by Gangstaaaaaa February 27, 2015

Ego Handjob

When a man receives an abundance of praise from one person regarding his talents, looks or accomplishments. Usually the compliments are distributed in a nearly excessive amount and received within only a few minutes of conversation, enough to satisfy the receiver in such a way that it is analogous to the stimulation of an orgasm, but for the ego.

I was in a meeting when Sandra started giving me quite the ego handjob. She went on and on about my contribution being valuable to the company and how I was the most talented person there.

by Josh June 3, 2010

Texas Style Handjob

When one spanks the monkey or gets a handy in the reverse grip of your normal jerkoff session. (Your fingers face upward instead of down) also known as a TSH or TSM

1
Kid A: I was late to school because my mom was giving me a Texas Style Handjob!
Kid B: That explains the hold up in the carpool lane

2
Whenever I choke the chicken I like to go Texas Style because it feels better

by HeyCouldYouLendMeAHandyRealQui September 15, 2010

office handjob

The office handjob is the person in the office that you would feel comfortable only giving the most simplistic, almost brainless task, something that is very hard to screw up. This is not the same person as the office bj, which requires some skills and certainly a different comfort level with who can handle such a task. The handjob task , after all is really something you could do yourself, just fine, and actually often do, but it is always better when someone else does it. Right?

Jackson to Murphy: Dude, Kurt finally got me that Mitchell report and now the boss wants 200 copies of it. Fuck that shit, I'm not an admin.

Murphy: Give it to the office handjob, Kurt's buddy Alex, he'll take care of it for you.
Jackson: ah, good thinking. He did a job for me last month.

by the last great nobody July 2, 2009

West Coast Handjob

When a female provides a male sexual pleasure with her hand(s), using sunscreen as lube, until he has an ejaculatory orgasm. Using his semen, the male makes a mixture of semen and sunscreen, and rubs it on the desired area of his female partner. Then they go tan.

Damn, Asari gave me the best west coast handjob. She definitely didn't get burnt!

by BRADLEYMOTHERFUCKINGCARLSON July 8, 2012

horror movie handjob

when you are at the movies watching a horror movie with your girlfriend and she is giving you a handjob as someone screams and she squeezes and tugs your penis and you scream like a bitch

davie: why is he holding his crotch
susie: his girlfriend gave him a horror movie handjob
davie: oooooohh thats suck i woulda beat that hoes ass

by killyoface1123249 July 30, 2010

Peanut Butter Handjob

A post-anal handjob.

After a long day working the back door, he got a peanut butter handjob as a reward.

by Leigh Awkwardman December 2, 2003