Skip to main content

Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets
"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"
by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016
mugGet the Crumpet snatchermug.

crumpet

someone who shits so fucking much
by neuqxss February 23, 2022
mugGet the crumpetmug.

Bum Crumpets

Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly
My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly
by SQUEELYBUM May 27, 2017
mugGet the Bum Crumpetsmug.

Crumpet

The art of falling asleep when you have a obligation, like to do a destiny 2 raid or schoolwork
Hey man I totally just pulled a crumpet in my statistics class
by liTTLEMAN545 November 21, 2019
mugGet the Crumpetmug.

Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.
"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."
by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023
mugGet the Crumpetingmug.

crumpet strumpet

UK old woman who sits around eating crumpets and flirting excessively online in chatrooms with anyone who will talk to her.
The crumpet strumpet was overly aggressive in chat.
by Goonie's Revenge September 23, 2023
mugGet the crumpet strumpetmug.

crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.
"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"
by Joni-K July 6, 2016
mugGet the crumpet dodgermug.

Share this definition