Wet Crumpet

by Spilled April 28, 2019
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penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.
I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”
by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018
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Crumpet Snalls

a crumpet of snalls
by Crumpet snallus April 30, 2021
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krinkle your crumpet

Masturbating underwater. Usually referring to underwater female-masturbation, but not exclusive to females.
Jane spent so long krinkling her crumpet in the bath her cunt was pruney.

Don't krinkle your crumpets in the bath! I have to take showers in that tub!!!
by lyla1315 February 04, 2015
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Bum Crumpets

Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly
My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly
by SQUEELYBUM May 22, 2017
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porn crumpet

Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:

(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)
(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?
by ssflss January 10, 2023
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Crumpets and tea

Crumpets and tea is a British food, usually eaten for breakfast or afternoon paired with tea often. It is made from flour, milk or water and yeast.
Friend 1: Hey bruv you wanna come over and have some crumpets and tea mate?

Friend 2: what kind of bloody question is that? Of course I do!
by sex minister April 27, 2022
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