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Jesus Hippos

Hippos that can walk on water.
I saw some jesus hippos walking around in the Atlantic ocean.
Jesus Hippos by El Gaupo April 26, 2023

Jesus Loves You

A statement which you respond to by saying "IN THE ASS"! You can also initiate the conversation yourself by telling someone that Jesus loves them. After hesitating a bit, you can add the additional "IN THE ASS" part to the end of your statement.

Jesus Christ 

A men who has witnessed a lot incidents
He crossed right when a car was coming
YOU: Jesus Christ!

Jesus Sperm Theory 

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever
"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein

Jesus posting 

Jesus posting or just Jesusposting is a subsection of "shit posting" where you use religious quotes in a satirical manner
-Did you see Jake post that fucked up photo saying "embrace Jesus"

-Yeah He's just Jesus posting
Jesus posting by HenryS June 28, 2023

JESUS CHRIST 

MY HUSBAND JACOB RENE REYNA IN LUBBOCK TEXAS ACTUAL HELL ON EARTH...
JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...