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Illegally Retarded 

A person who has no debilitating mental problems, yet still doesn't grasp reality or utilize common sense, even though a wealth of knowledge (the internet) is at their fingertips.
"Emmy thinks if she isn't attracted to someone who hits on her, then it's technically rape. That girl's illegally retarded."

Directionally Retarded 

A state beyond directionally challenged. One who is directionally retarded is legitimately useless at navigating anywhere, either by vehicle or by foot. This includes following a navigation system, going to locations they have been to countless times, or even as simple as following someone else's directions who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car. No matter the circumstances, no matter the stakes, one with directional retardation will simply always find a way to fuck it up. This accumulation of wrong turns and missed exits during any voyage means that they are generally always late to everything.
Driver- Ok, what exit do I take?
Passenger- Take exit 4 and then turn right onto cherry street.
Driver (takes exit 5 and then turns left onto Apple street)- Sorry, I'm directionally retarded

Morally Retarded 

Someone who thinks two wrongs make a right. Moral retards are prone to making bad decisions and do not consider how their actions might affect other people. They prefer being friends with other moral retards that will assist them in their morally retarded acts. Most delight in devising cruel and unusual ways to impress their "M.R" friends by doing ignorant, senseless things to those that aren't morally retarded.
M.R: I am morally retarded and if I don't like you I will go out of my way to prove it.

Non M.R. : You do not have to prove you don't like me.
Morally Retarded by BaconMastert September 19, 2016

dick retarded 

A dick so good it makes you retarded!
He is so good, has me dick retarded for sure.
dick retarded by Peachy dimples January 16, 2018

Sex Retardant 

An agent that enigmatically repels sexual desire such as moldy cheese, dead horses, or Hillary Clinton’s breasts.
I saw an old fuckass bitch bitch at the store today and my boner went limp faster than light speed. She had total Sex Retardant written all over her
Sex Retardant by Obiwan723 March 3, 2021

i am retarded

You are implying that yourself has an intellect with problems
*Jake Paul looking in the mirror*: I am retarded
i am retarded by Tw4 February 23, 2018