tainted surface

The act of rubbing another persons Microsoft Surface tablet on your taint and/or genitalia, usually as a retaliatory joke but sometimes for sexual pleasure. The tablet owners name is usually placed in the middle of the statement.

Man, I just tainted Sean's surface..... At first it was funny, but then it felt good and I couldn't stop myself. Tainted Surface

by Notyouraveragemegatron May 23, 2014

Taint-a-licious

The "pleasure" produced by gently stroking the soft supple skin between the anus and the genitals.

Patty that thing you were going around my back side last night was "Taint-a-licious".

by kerb-stirer August 8, 2014

taint pool

The small pool of sweat that builds up within the taint.

It's so hot my balls are swimming in a taint pool

by ryelou October 21, 2007

taint complaint

when your taint smells so foul that someone makes a formal complaint to the local authorities.

Man, Martin's taint smelled so bad that Jenny filed a taint complaint to the police department. I think he is serving 5 to 10!

by jeeeeeahhhh July 16, 2009

Taint Musk

The ripe, musky scent of a hot and sweaty or unbathed male taint.

Sheila is coming over tonight and going to slob my knob. I haven't showered for five days so her chin is going to wallow in my taint musk.

by Eaton Holgoode February 28, 2017

taint second

an amount of time that is as long as it needs to be but as short as it can be.

Mary, can you give me a taint second?!

by jazzlover October 18, 2014

rocky taint

Any guy who has ingrown hairs (Rocks) sprouting up in his taint

Billy Case bent over and I saw not only his Double Brown Banana Slices, but I also noticed he had a little bit of a rocky taint as well.

by mcmorriswithcheese January 12, 2008