Jehovah's witness

I was raised a witness, though I'm not involved anymore. They are not a cult, as some on here will have you believe.

They are a fundamentalist sect of Christianity. Yes they are annoying when out preaching, but tell them not to come back and they won't.

Unlike the Catholics, they aren't responsible for some of histories greatest atrocities. In fact, they are a very peace-loving people who live simple lives, centered around strong family values and honesty in all things. If Jesus wouldn't even let Peter defend him with his sword, what sense does it make that mainstream Christianity has caused or condoned every war in the last two thousand years?

Those who say that their interpretation of the bible is wrong clearly don't study history. Things like the Trinity, the date of Christmas and the differentiation of the clergy/laity don't know that those things were added by the council of nicea 400 years after Jesus died. That council was lead by emperor Constantine, who was a pagan until the day he died. He added those and other rules to ease Rome into converting.

Of all the religious nutjobs out there, they are about the most harmless. I'm not saying I'd ever rejoin, but that's just because I hate religion. Just about every witness I know is as nice a person as I could ever hope to meet.

Yeah those Jehovah's witnesses are kind of kookie, but at least they never burned people alive just for owning a bible like the Catholics did...

by Woogie boogie! July 31, 2012

Jehovie

Slang term used to refer to Jehovah's witnesses.

Also known as a J-Ho

A Jehovie came to my door today, I hit him with a baseball bat.

I wish I could be a J-Ho!

by Mark the Jew December 26, 2008

Jehovah's Witnesses

a bunch of boring mothafuckers who dont selebrate birthdays
they feel it is there goal to anooy the fuck out of normal people

ben- did you talk to those Jehovah's Witnesses bible fags
christian- nah just told the fags i was buddist, stupid cocks

by cwk April 23, 2006

Jehovah Witless

Selectively telling people you've converted right around Christmas so you receive lots of presents but don't give any

Dan tried to pull a Jehovah Witless on everybody so his present from me is gonna be a log of shit in a box

by PapaNickDawg March 24, 2011

Jehovah's Witness

Christian religious organization based in Brooklyn New York.
Based on biblical teachings use other literature as aide to provide people free bible courses.

I spoke with one of Jehovah's Witnesses on Saturday.

by JohnQ123 March 11, 2013

reverse jenson

sitting on the toilet backwards while jacking off

I was caught sitting reverse jenson while whacking off to a poster on the wall.

by highest paid CO February 23, 2011

jehovahs witness

A group of people that study the bible. Not to be mistaken for a cult because they have the choice to leave whenever they want to. They make a habit of spending at least an hour every week going door to door and preaching. There prophesying may have been wrong in the past but they are genuinely nice people. They were also persecuted during the holocaust along with the Jews and Roma. They do in fact encourage their members to pursue post secondary education. Their people make the best husbands and wives out there.

'Yo guy, just talked to a jehovahs witness for kicks'

'why'

' No reason. He was surprisingly nice.'

by Scaramouch October 26, 2011