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dancefloor handy

My poor behaviour at the party was eclipsed by the scandal of Tegan giving Jim a dancefloor handy.
by La-a Laker January 13, 2013
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Handi-Humper

Someone with with a sick fetish for disabled people.
The guy interested in your mom is a total handi-humper.
by happiFrog April 5, 2021
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SPF Handy

Noun.
A handjob given using sunscreen lotion for lubrication.
Linda Rucker denied the accusation that she had offered Christopher Waterhouse an SPF handy at summer camp.
by eunuchorns and reignboughs August 11, 2014
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jam handy

1. The popular 1940's Educational Film Production Company, 'Jam Handy', who created such classic films as "A Case of Spring Fever"
2. The even more popular sexual favour, provided by certain prostitutes, whereby the hand job is enhanced by liberal application of various jams, jellies and preserves. At the lower end of the menu is the 'Hartley's Strawberry Jam Handy', which will cost on average £2.50 due to the low fruit content, all the way up to Fortnam and Mason's High Grove Organic Damson Preserve , which will cost a discerning customer at least £10 a Handy. Seville Orange Marmalade Handy's are seasonal.
Most Jam Handys are executed with seedless jam, but there are some fringe extremists that prefer seeded raspeberry Jam Handys, known in the trade as "Dick Raspers".
"Nigel, where does one acquire a Jam Handy in this borough?"
"Why Nigel, I believe one can have a quality Jam Handy down behind the Tesco's if you're in the mood for some Hartley's seedless Raspberry, 35 percent fruit, only £2.50. Bargain."
"Why thank you Nigel, you're a real chap."
"Unless you're one of those filthy Dick Raspers, in which case I'll have to call the local constabulary."
"Oh Nigel, how could you."
"And I always took you for a marmalade man. And I let you watch my children."
by Adrian Potato September 26, 2020
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Handy Savage

A week long, calculated hand job. A hand job 5/5 star rating in real life and on Yelp. A slightly aggressive hand job that ends with the giver exclaiming "Oh Yeah!" and the recipient splooging everywhere.
Jim: "So how was the weekend with the wife?"

Randy: "I'm still recovering. My wife gave me a Handy Savage and now I have to pee sitting down."
by DJ_Smedium_Dick July 29, 2017
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Farm Handy

The position in a horse stable that collects prizing winning sperm from a Triple Crown horse.
'That American Pharaoh is going to Farm Handy heaven!'
by Farm Handy December 22, 2015
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Manny’s Handy

When you use the grease from a Manny’s Pizza or Taco as lube to jerk off your significant other in sheer gratitude for stuffing your face with culinary wonderment.
After dinner last night the wife gave me a Manny’s Handy on the way home!
by Trent Thick Missile October 23, 2020
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