jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.

After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.

jesus nap by jpeg1024 April 5, 2015

Jesus Dive

the term 'Jesus Dive' refers to a particular type of dive in swimming, It involves spreading your arms out at a 90 degree angle to your body, diving off the block, tilting approximately 160 degrees forward then joining your arms above your head at the last second

woh, nice Jesus dive

Jesus Dive by djob9601 August 16, 2015

jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.

That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*

jesus montano by GVibez November 17, 2016

jesus window 

the 24 hours after a virgin christian girl gets married and is able to engage in sexual intercourse

Im getting married tomorrow, but I'm most excited for the Jesus Window.

jesus window by whoisgary November 29, 2016

jesus marchant 

A pendejo

Ira un jesus marchant pendejo

jesus marchant by Unmexicanoal1000 December 5, 2016

Jesus Eyes

A person in the 7th grade that likes to stare at burritos like they are jusus

Me: Oh my gosh Ellie Carter is totally Jesuseyeing that burrito

Ellie: Totally!!
Me: We should nickname him jesus eyes!

Jesus Eyes by Jesuseye's best friend February 4, 2017

Jesus Apex 

1) the Good Friday which occurs during your 33rd year (I.e. The Jesus was crucified)

2) the point in ones life at which their moral worth substantially their immoral worth

1) Man, as long as I don't get crucified on Good Friday, I'll have made it past my Jesus apex

2) I reached my Jesus apex today when I saved a boat of orphans from falling into that volcano and pretended to listen to my mom on the phone for 2 hours

Jesus Apex by twatwaffle3000 February 4, 2017