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shit monkey

An expletive used the same way as shit, but it's more fun to say.
Shit monkey! I burned my arm on the curling iron.
by KrW September 23, 2005
mugGet the shit monkeymug.

Da Monkey

An STD like "HIV" "the clap" "drippy dick" and other STD's you dont want to get.

Da Monkey is bad s#it so stay away from them guy/girls that have it!!
It burns when i pee i think i got DA MONKEY!!!!

Yo homie dont hit that joint that shawty has DA MONKEY!!!

Come on doc dont tell me i got DA MONKEY!!!
by CJthaDJ June 12, 2008
mugGet the Da Monkeymug.

Monkey Truffle

After a night on the razz and acquiring a set of beer goggles, you pull a right munter and take her back to yours for a damn good seeing to.

Clothes come off and before you know it she's gobbling away. She asks for a bit of oral anal rimming, and due to wanting to get rid of the taste of the digusting Chicken Vindaloo you had on the way back, you agree.

On parting her arse crack you are greeted by an incredibly hairy arse crack (she is probably of Germanic origin) and she has a severe case of Piles and her hole has ballooned to look like a large truffle!
Christer bent the scank, which he pulled earlier that night, over the table to give her some rimming only to be greeted by a Monkey truffle.

Not wanting to ruin his chances of later action, he just pushed it all back inside and had a good slurp anyway.
by Waterboy8535 June 19, 2009
mugGet the Monkey Trufflemug.

tip monkey

1/ Someone who rumages around a refuse site selecting uneaten food, silver things, and old tyres for re-use around their caravan.

2/ A council worker ensuring the smooth running of the local refuse site.
1/ Look that tip-monkey has just run off with the tin-foil tray from last nights chinese.

2/ What do you mean I need a permit to dump asbestos here? You're just a jumped up tip monkey.
by Kuthula June 8, 2004
mugGet the tip monkeymug.

what the monkey

An expression of shock pioneered in West Sussex churches as a way to avoid swearing when surprised. Has now spread and is a general phrase used when shocked. Can be shortened for instant messaging to WTM.
by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004
mugGet the what the monkeymug.

Sweaty monkey

When one drags his nuts across the scree of an unattended cell phone of either an unsuspecting victim or arch enemy.
That prick left his phone on his desk, so I gave him the sweaty monkey.
by XLBOSTON March 6, 2016
mugGet the Sweaty monkeymug.

Monkey Pumper

one who masturbates; one who jerks off; one who chokes one's chicken; one who strokes one's cork while massaging one's grapes
Employee1: Man, why is the boss such a jerk?!
Employee2: Ah, don't worry dude, he's just busin' your balls cause he's a monkey pumper.
by Drjerkle September 22, 2009
mugGet the Monkey Pumpermug.

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