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Fecal Hysteria

A type of anxiety immediately relieved with a deep, steamy bowel movement. You can literally feel the anxiety drop out of you with each sphincteral contraction, as the source of your hysterics (i.e.: The Bowel) slides right on out of your neurotic vessel. Full relief is usually felt when washing hands, when the classic "light" feeling in your colon sets in.
"Oh, man, I felt so on edge just a few minutes ago! I ran to the bathroom, let a log roll off the truck, and WHAM-MO!!! My fecal hysteria is all but forgotten."

"Oh, yeah, I LOVE that feeling. Instant relief. I love functioning colons."
by LexiSays December 2, 2011
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fecal-Rembrandts

An mentally unstable artist who is especially talented, but due to his chosen medium (i.e. feces) will never be widely observed.
"Think of how many loonies will never be recognized because their art is made of blood and feces and is less enjoyable because of it. So many fecal-Rembrandts will die in obscurity." - singasongofsixpins
by DESIGNATION UNKNOWN January 6, 2014
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fecan

A person who uses their smartphone to surf the net or watch YouTube while using a public restroom.
That guy is a fecan; I hope he washed his hands and his smartphone after taking a dump.
by Renov8tion April 7, 2015
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fecal tickle

The act of inserting an object in one's anal cavity in order to "attempt" to encounter fecies. Despite the name, fecies do not, in fact, have nerve endings, so there is no way to measure if they receive a "tickle". Fecal tickles can have pleasurable intent, as well as malicious- and often come as a surprise to the host party.
Robb was watching Greys Anatomy and drinking wine with Carl. Robb fell asleep on the couch, so Carl decided to fecal tickle Robb with a Apple TV remote.
by JR "Paycheck" January 29, 2017
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fecal flower

The splatter from a bowel movement that leaves evidence on the inside of the toilet bowl.
Cheryl, having ate too much processed food the day before, had a bowel movement that left a fecal flower on the inside of the toilet bowl.
by aretegroup May 7, 2017
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fecalwad

Did you hear that he got drunk and made a pass at the female bouncer? What a total fecalwad.
by Squeezil January 23, 2019
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Feacal contingency

An amount of spare human shit kept by the toilet (normally in a container) for people to throw into the bowl if they are having trouble shitting. This is normally done to make them feel better for wasting time on the bowel bowl.
After 10 minutes on the shitter, Sam realised he was going to need to dip into his feacal contingency.
by Zonal K September 19, 2019
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