A "Jamaican Handbag" is when you place a pile of shit inside a passed out person's pants so that when they awake they believe they've shat themselves.
by Blam January 19, 2005
Get the jamaican handbag mug.A Bavarian Handbasket, or 'hand basket', is a sex position for those "advanced nympho" ladies who would like to spice things up a tiny bit in the bedroom and perhaps get a somewhat different reaction from their partner/s than the normal, everyday whips and chains, S&M, and gorilla toss.
Here are the directions for for the nympholadies who are getting bored with finger-in-the-asshole-bj' s, etc... They are very specific so be sure to write this one down on the back of your hand so you can read it and remember while doing it doggy style.
Steps-
1. Firmly grasp your partner's* genitalia, or balls, all the way at the top of where they hang down.
* If having sex with more than one man at the time, then repeat these steps as necessary.
2. When you have a firm grasp on them, rip out as many pubes on them as possible or to your liking, with your other free hand.
3. Take the pubes and lay them across your chest*.
*Really, anywhere on your body is fine. Putting them on your chest, however, is what makes this move Bavarian.
4. After removing all the sack pubes to your liking, twist the ball sack 360 Degrees. If this does not get a reaction from your partner right away, keep twisting as necessary.
5. After twisting the sack to your liking, pull it extremely hard and quick, forcing your partner to get on his knees.
6. When this is completed, separate and take your legs and put them on his shoulders*. Be sure that your feet are locked behind his head so he cannot escape.
*If screwing a midget, this step may be difficult.
7. Now take the ball sack and thrust it into your vagina as much as possible. Release your grip and jack off your partner until he cums*, while the ball sack is still twisted inside your vagina
*If there is blood, then you have done the whole process correctly.
8. You have successfully completed the Bavarian Handbasket. Congratulations! You may now smear your partner's pubes in his face.
Here are the directions for for the nympholadies who are getting bored with finger-in-the-asshole-bj' s, etc... They are very specific so be sure to write this one down on the back of your hand so you can read it and remember while doing it doggy style.
Steps-
1. Firmly grasp your partner's* genitalia, or balls, all the way at the top of where they hang down.
* If having sex with more than one man at the time, then repeat these steps as necessary.
2. When you have a firm grasp on them, rip out as many pubes on them as possible or to your liking, with your other free hand.
3. Take the pubes and lay them across your chest*.
*Really, anywhere on your body is fine. Putting them on your chest, however, is what makes this move Bavarian.
4. After removing all the sack pubes to your liking, twist the ball sack 360 Degrees. If this does not get a reaction from your partner right away, keep twisting as necessary.
5. After twisting the sack to your liking, pull it extremely hard and quick, forcing your partner to get on his knees.
6. When this is completed, separate and take your legs and put them on his shoulders*. Be sure that your feet are locked behind his head so he cannot escape.
*If screwing a midget, this step may be difficult.
7. Now take the ball sack and thrust it into your vagina as much as possible. Release your grip and jack off your partner until he cums*, while the ball sack is still twisted inside your vagina
*If there is blood, then you have done the whole process correctly.
8. You have successfully completed the Bavarian Handbasket. Congratulations! You may now smear your partner's pubes in his face.
"Dude, Carla did this thing to me the other night. She said it was called the Bavarian Handbasket or some shit... said she got it off urbandictionary or youtube or some shit."
"Well, how was it dude?!?"
"Dude...it was the best thing ever! She forcefully took my balls, ripped out their pubes, twisted my junk, and shoved it into her pussy, then jacked me off while it was still in there."
"Why doesn't Claire ever do that to me?..."
"Well, how was it dude?!?"
"Dude...it was the best thing ever! She forcefully took my balls, ripped out their pubes, twisted my junk, and shoved it into her pussy, then jacked me off while it was still in there."
"Why doesn't Claire ever do that to me?..."
by musclemilk32 March 26, 2008
Get the bavarian handbasket mug.Related Words
A condom that has been filled with drugs, tied off, and then shoved up a convict's rectum. Used to smuggle drugs into prison.
by FamousAnus89 September 15, 2010
Get the Mexican Handbag mug.1. Beats the hell out of any other way of expressing surprise, happiness, or generally anything
2. Has no logical meaning so don't ask
3. I JUST SAID DON'T FUCKING ASK
4. It's what Jesus says to Colonel Sanders in heaven. Bitch.
2. Has no logical meaning so don't ask
3. I JUST SAID DON'T FUCKING ASK
4. It's what Jesus says to Colonel Sanders in heaven. Bitch.
by Creep4life\ June 20, 2009
Get the holy hell in a handbasket mug.A handburger is a culinary masterpiece made from the shredded remains of an animal, crafted by a man with only the implements God has given him. It is the Ultimate Man's meal: a chunk of meat, inlaid with whatever he deems necessary, shaped however he pleases, and seared over the hot coals burning in his soul.
Serve it on a bun or directly by hand.
Serve it on a bun or directly by hand.
by Zuca May 12, 2011
Get the Handburger mug.Similar to 'hell in a handbasket'.
The description of the impending awfulness of a situation, by implying that both the uncomfortable mode of transport plus the final destination would make for one really unpleasant experience.
The description of the impending awfulness of a situation, by implying that both the uncomfortable mode of transport plus the final destination would make for one really unpleasant experience.
"Just ten minutes browsing randomly through urban dictionary proves that our beloved English language is broken, and we're all going to hell in a handcart"
by Phil G January 16, 2008
Get the hell in a handcart mug.The fine art of taking a Dump in someone's handbag without them knowing. A great way to impress your dissatisfaction with someone for leaving their handbag somewhere accessible. Not advisable on first dates or when taking elderly relatives to dinner.
Handbagging is often preformed on a night out when a really annoying girl (or guy (doesn't even have to be annoying (just has to have a handbag))) and you get the opportunity to grab a handbag on the way to the bathroom or anywhere else you are comfortable doing 'the deed'. Not being caught is usually advisable.
Also good for a competitive game with mates seeing who can get the most or the best bag!
Also good for a competitive game with mates seeing who can get the most or the best bag!
by Gymsox June 13, 2011
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