Potato alarm clock

When you wake up to someone shitting the turd the size of a potato into your mouth

Person sleeping: (snoring with mouth open)
Significant other: (loud grunting)(massive shit falls out into sleeping persons mouth)
Person sleeping: (wakes up and eats potato sized turd)
Significant other: "you're welcome for your potato alarm clock"
Person sleeping: "Thanks baby that was the best one yet!!!"

by LittleSinep November 23, 2021

Paris Alarm Clock

When your girlfriend won't wake up after a party night, you brush your teeth with minty toothpaste, and tongue dart her bunny-hole until she agrees to get up and make you breakfast.

Danielle was so sleepy on Sunday morning, I had to give her a Paris Alarm Clock to get her naked, lazy body out of bed.

by The Violent Yoda November 19, 2023

scottish alarm clock

When you wake up before your partner and you give them head till they wake up.

My wife was asleep till I performed the Scottish alarm clock on her.

by Sandolorian December 13, 2021

Military Alarm Clock

Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.

#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.

by bossofpiza November 23, 2016

Arabic Alarm Clock

The turbin wearing guy that blows himself up in the morning

Wow my new Arabic alarm clock is great! Too bad it's a one-use only item

by Master of the Black Stache January 09, 2017

UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020

Alarm Clock Pizza

When you get really drunk and order a pizza online after the store has closed. You forget that you ordered a pizza because you were drunk and there is a pizza in the stores queue in the morning. They proceed to deliver the pizza when they reopen in the morning. You hear a knock on your door while you are sleeping and in the doorway stands the pizza man who just served as your alarm clock.

**Knock Knock**
Ben (answers door): Damnit Blake! did you order a pizza last night?
Blake: I don't think so, we were pretty drunk though let me check my app.
Blake: Ah shit, looks like I ordered a pizza at 3:30am last night.
Ben: Classic, another alarm clock pizza.

by pussylicker12 October 19, 2016