absolutely jorkin my shit

A higher form of jorkin it usually in a communication form meaning to jack off in an aggressive manner

Yo I’m absolutely jorkin my shit right now and by it let’s just say my pentis

by The-jorkin-king January 13, 2025

Absofugginlutely

100% more reassuring than absolutely! Total agreement with, heck yeah!

Would you like to snikle my girlfriend? Absofugginlutely!

by Joebud777 January 20, 2026

Absotutly

Most definitely affirmative better than yes.

Absotutly you may go to the sockhop tonight.

by Periwinkletoe February 10, 2026

Absolutist Fallacy

Absolutist Fallacy, also Objectivist Fallacy - The belief that one's own perspective is not just valid but objectively true, universal, and beyond question, while all other perspectives are biased, subjective, or simply wrong. The absolutist fallacy assumes that reality has a single correct interpretation and that you happen to possess it. It's the fallacy behind "I'm not political, I just believe in common sense" (where common sense means your opinions), "I'm not ideological, I'm just rational" (where rational means agreeing with you), and "I see things as they are, everyone else sees them through a lens" (where your lens is invisible to you). The absolutist fallacy makes genuine dialogue impossible because you're not participating in a conversation—you're delivering truth to the misinformed.

Example: "He committed the absolutist fallacy daily, presenting his conservative views as 'objective reality' and liberal views as 'ideological delusion.' When she pointed out that objectivity was complicated, he said she was being 'relativist' and that relativism was the death of truth. He didn't see that his 'truth' was just his perspective, elevated to universal status by his own certainty."

by Dumu The Void February 15, 2026

Absolutist Fallacy

The belief that one possesses absolute, objective truth and that everyone who disagrees is simply wrong—not differently situated, not operating from different premises, not seeing a different aspect of reality, but simply, absolutely wrong. The Absolutist Fallacy is objectivity bias taken to its logical extreme: not just believing you're right, but believing that rightness is a property you possess and others lack. It's the fallacy of the true believer, the ideologue, the person who has never encountered a perspective that challenged their own and survived the encounter intact. Absolutist Fallacy makes dialogue impossible because there's nothing to discuss—you have the truth; they have error. The only question is how to correct them.

Example: "He didn't argue; he declared. Every conversation was a lecture, every disagreement a sign of the other person's confusion. Absolutist Fallacy meant he possessed truth; everyone else was just wrong. When she tried to offer a different perspective, he didn't engage—he corrected. There was nothing to discuss because discussion implies uncertainty, and he had none."

by Abzugal February 21, 2026

Absentee gear

Absentee gear is gear which looks good to a beginner who isn't familiar with a hobby yet, but is actually low quality.
The kind that a good role model (such as a present father figure) would prevent you from buying, as they'd tell you to do better.

Often, but not always, associated with "50 features in 1", gimmicks with little practical application, and cheaper materials.
Originates in the outdoor community, but is applicable for a broad range of hobbies.

Jeremy bought a survival axe from walmart with a built-in compass, survival whistle and magnifying glass. Unfortunately the handle was made from cheap plastic, so it broke within a week.

Had he had someone to show him what to look for instead, he'd not have fallen for such absentee gear.

by questionable_definitions February 22, 2026

Absolute Objectivity Bias

The delusional belief that pure, perspective-free, God's-eye-view objectivity is not only possible but something you personally have achieved. It's the epistemological equivalent of claiming you can levitate. The Absolutist doesn't just think they're right—they think they've transcended the very condition of having a perspective. Their opinions aren't opinions; they're just reality reporting itself through them. This bias is most common in people who have never seriously studied philosophy, neuroscience, or any field that might humble their certainty about certainty.

"I don't have opinions, I just have facts," said the man whose "facts" aligned perfectly with his political tribe's talking points. Absolute Objectivity Bias: mistaking your worldview for the world.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026