Daniel Theorem

A theorem that states that occams razor can be applied in any situation a person sees fit. The most common use of the Daniel Theorem is in math, where if a pattern or shortcut appears, one could deduct the answer from either logic or simple reasoning. Daniel Theorem is a phenomenon but can also be a way of life, if there is a loophole in not paying taxes, then one should apply it.

Using the Daniel Theorem, I realized that a circle is better than a square to make car wheels, take that libs!

by DanielAlmighty January 17, 2024

The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem

The theory that all male-identifying individuals can be categorized as either a pirate, a cowboy, or an astronaut. Some combination thereof is a possibility, but one classification is always dominant. The categories need no defined criteria because the correct placement is almost always surprisingly obvious.

"I really like him, which is surprising because based on The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem he's more of an astronaut, and I'm usually more attracted to pirate men."
"I get that. I'm mostly into cowboys at the moment, but I could definitely see myself settling down with an astronaut one day."

by hannahmadison69 January 19, 2024

Grumulum's Theorem

When you don't know what you're doing, but you get it right anyway.

A: How did you get the correct answer on this test when you're failing the class?
B: I just used Grumulum's Theorem.

by RealCraigles January 25, 2024

Moon Theorem

It states that the angle the moon makes with two stars is at 90° and the stars are at angles 30° and 60° respectively, therefore making it a triangle.

I watched the moon theorem with my love

by That Gee December 20, 2022

Masnick's Impossibility Theorem

"Content moderation at scale is impossible to do well." Named after Mike Masnick of TechDirt, the theorem is that moderating user generated content such as on social media, video services, websites, blogs, etc. and the comment sections therein is inherently difficult to do correctly all the time, and becomes increasingly difficult at large scales. As a result, at large scales sites will increasingly make incorrect moderation decisions.

Facebook's suspension of a prominent journalist's account for posting a news article is an example of Masnick's Impossibility Theorem.

by nmslanon January 4, 2023

The Hitler Theorem

The Hitler Theorem is in relation to how a stimulus affects you negatively day by day more than Adolf Hitler does. If something affects you worse than Adolf Hitler, then The Hitler Theorem can prove objectively that the stimulus is worse than Adolf Hitler.

"I'm tired of all this work my teacher is assigning me! It annoys me more than Adolf Hitler does, therefore according to The Hitler Theorem this homework is worse than Adolf Hitler!"

by Theoremist November 22, 2023

The Repeating Idiocy Theorem

The Repeating Theorem discusses how stupid people will repeat the same dumb choices because they're too idiotic to learn from consequences.

"I want to get back with my ex." - (Idiot, probably named Brad)

"YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! YOU'RE AN IDIOT! I MADE THE REPEATING IDIOCY THEOREM TO SHOW HOW YOUR DUMBASS CONTINUSIONLY MAKES THE SAME RETARDED CHOICES!" - Me (Fuck you guy, probably named Brad, you idiot)

by Theoremist November 22, 2023