Glangum theorem

The scientifically unproven theory that suggests if you drop a single sock on the floor, it will automatically multiply into 12, all of which are lost within the next 48 hours, never to be seen again, except for the odd chance of one sock being found in the back of the dryer, yet never its partner.

"I tried to explain the Glangum Theorem to my roommate, but she just stared at me like I was speaking another language."

by Dirtysockfinder August 3, 2025

The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem

The theory that all male-identifying individuals can be categorized as either a pirate, a cowboy, or an astronaut. Some combination thereof is a possibility, but one classification is always dominant. The categories need no defined criteria because the correct placement is almost always surprisingly obvious.

"I really like him, which is surprising because based on The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem he's more of an astronaut, and I'm usually more attracted to pirate men."
"I get that. I'm mostly into cowboys at the moment, but I could definitely see myself settling down with an astronaut one day."

by hannahmadison69 January 19, 2024

Bitchagorean theorem

After a fun night when a group of people's guy to girl ratio is uneven and they have to silently and awkwardly decide who is going to be sleeping with who that night

Yeah bro there was four of us guys and only two girls so we used the bitchagorean theorem to decide who was gonna take the L and sleep on the floor.

by CrackIntosh March 19, 2019

Google finger theorem

The concept that artificial intelligence like that used in self driving cars and other autonomous machines will never be fully integrated into everyday life until they can interpret human nonverbal communication in the appropriate context.

When I give a self driving car the finger and it reacts appropriately, I will know the technology is ready for prime time. This is the Google finger theorem in practice.

by Bozotexano July 23, 2016

pygyattoras theorem

When you are doing Pythagoras theorem in maths class but get very horny because of the way that hypotenuse looks at you in the corner of your eye.

You think you're just going crazy but then you realise it's calling out to you.

Screw the A squared and B squared, look at that sexy C squared.

And it only gets better when you find the square root of that. A lonely little C waiting for you just outside the door...

You strip naked and get ready to pound the living shit out of that hypotenuse.

In maths today that Pygyattoras theorem got me going real hard.

by SkibidiDonkeyMan May 21, 2024

Lion king theorem

When two people have an argument. They play the lion king movie in the background, one guy can only speak while simba is on screen and the other may speak while simba is off screen.

The presidential debate is on tonight ? Fuck a mediator let’s use the lion king theorem.

by Spinter April 22, 2021

Vaughan’s Theorem

Simply stated; in the public forum, delivery style outperforms content integrity as a potentiator of true communication. In the world of debate, well composed and articulated bullshit, especially when delivered extemporaneously, can stand toe-to-toe with poorly communicated: absolute truth, brilliant insight, inspired wisdom, or even genius-level analysis any day of the week.

Although candidate A clearly has a superior command of the subject matter, they tend to get nervous, and stutter and stammer, and seem to grasp for the right word, while candidate B who is well known for his silky sooth speaking style, broadcast-quality voice, and skill in weaving Improvisational comedy into his responses, once again, Vaughan’s Theorem accurately predicts that B will appear to win the question in spite of demonstrated cluelessness regarding the question that was posed.

by Kenneth A. Vaughan August 18, 2020