"Stimulus" is slang for a sordid economic nostrum administered on the advice of bankers and academics, many of them carrying the title of "Dr.". But don't mistake these "Doctors" for devotees of the Hippocratic Oath. "Stimulus" or economic crank, like any other economic panacea, is a fake cure that gives its victims a temporary but false sense of well-being, even as it sets about causing long term damage to users and the economic community at large. The opium of the economists know as "stimulus" acts directly on bread winners and investors by misdirecting them into production plans and consumption levels which cannot be successfully coordinated or sustained across time. As a consequence, the "high" of this political drug lasts for only a few months, often followed by a depressing "crash" period, which cannot be avoided without further and ever increasing quantities of "stimulus". The drug received its proper name "crank" because it was most often smuggled into policy debates by monetary cranks, the most famous of whom was John Maynard Keynes.

"Stimulus" is taken by fiscal injection, monetarily (directly snorted by banks and borrowers), and through the consumption of pork. A common misconception among politicians and the public is that some administration methods are safer than others, while in reality all act on the economy the same exact way. Economic "crank" damages the coordinative function of prices across the structure of production and consumption, which cause naturally occurring price signals -- e.g. interest rates, stock prices, etc. -- to be ineffective. Because price signals are responsible for facilitating the coordination of production plans and consumption choices, withdrawal from sustained periods of artificial "stimulation" is extremely painful to economic actors and the economy system, with businesses and households thrown back into economic reality after having functioned for a time in a circus mirror, government-altered state without any naturally produced and undistorted relative prices to guide their plans.

"Stimulus" withdrawal is said to be one of the most painful experiences an economy can endure, and users of economic "crank" should consider other safer ways to buy the support of voters.
"Helicopter" Ben Bernanke wants to stimulate the US economy so Starbucks wanna be hipsters can keep their habit and still fill up their SUV.

Chinese use to export opium stimulus, but now they export monetary stimulus.
by Banker-San January 20, 2008
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Spending money you don't have for stuff you don't need, that is not made in america, to protect american jobs. Except for the people who haul and sell the stuff how does buying imported goods produce jobs in america?
Support the stimulus workers in china need the jobs.The bankers have really damaged the economy the stimulus will probably kill it.
by benthere February 13, 2009
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A $787 billion slush fund used by members of Congress and the Obama Administration to fund projects and organizations without having to separately go on record voting for each appropriation.
Normally it would be political suicide and possibly criminal to use taxpayer dollars to pay off our special interests, but thanks to the stimulus we can claim it saves or creates jobs and call it a day.
by RO191 June 16, 2010
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The money owed to a hooker.
Robbie: Hey can i borrow some money?
Joe: Why?
Robbie: I have to pay my stimulus bill from last night.
by RobbieRotten February 3, 2009
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To get your economic stimulus check and buy 24 inch donk rims for your former police car.
Yo rufus, you such a stimulus nigga, I saw you at rent-a-wheel last week.
by NickandTdog May 21, 2008
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A pathetic amount of money that has little to no use.
I searched under the couch cushions for enough money to buy myself a popsicle but only found a stimulus-check.
by Fattestskinnykid December 22, 2020
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When a new restaurant or store, especially a well-known one that didn't previously have any outlets nearby, opens and is always busy.
- "Bro, have you been to the new Five Guys yet?"

- "No dude, every time I walk by the line is out the door. It's basically a stimulus package!!"
by TheOriginalJZ April 16, 2011
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