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spanking the monkey

Due to her refusal, he took herman to the circus many times that night
by doc voodoo January 19, 2003
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Spelunking

When a girl is naked and asleep under the covers and you get a flashlight (or a cell phone will do) and check out the goods. Usually done when you first sleep with someone, but can be done with girlfriends, friends, whatever.
A girl can perform this on a sleeping dude as well.
Laying there next to his hot one night stand, the perv grabs his cell phone and goes spelunking to get a closer look at her love clam.
by Crunchyness June 1, 2009
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Spanking

A word that used to mean punishment for a child who had done wrong. When done fairly and properly the child usually did not commit that particular crime again. Some parents used it only as a means of last resort. Other parents spanked their kids for every little thing they did which actually had the opposite effect.

Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,

The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
2012 parent 1;Honey look at this book!" When we have our first kid this is exactly what we will do!"

2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"

2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."

20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
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spanking the skunk guts

when a girl pushes her fingers in and out of her pussy and rubs the clit
by Anonymous August 23, 2003
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skunking

When two lovers get together while feeling gassy. When lover A has to fart lover B becomes the sniffer. Lover B positions themself so that lover A can get their butt right in their face. Then lover A lets it go and lover B sniffs.
ahh, those eggs must have been a few days past expiration. so baby, how about a skunking?
by mikethepike January 7, 2005
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Skunking

Being fucked in the ass so hard that when the administer pulls out a large beefy fart exits the corn bomber.
So how was last night? Not too good, we ended up skunking...
by EWnastybuckfuck October 6, 2010
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Skunking

step 1: butt chug your favorite brew
step 2: hold it in till you find a victim
step 3: spray fart your brew onto aforementioned victim
step 4: profit
Sorry I missed the party last night guys, Chase talked me into skunking hobos.
by onebeer May 22, 2011
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