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Log Splitter

An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?

Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?

Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...

Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.

Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
by Plank "Vic Vapors" Hungwell November 10, 2008
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pussy-splitter

1. A cock of exceptional girth and rigidity, esp. one used to deliver a merciless fuck
My sister said she couldn't walk for a week after Carlos fucked her, because he was hung with a real pussy-splitter.
by Edmond Dantes April 26, 2006
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splatter ass

the realising of large amounts of liquid defication that is spewed forth from the anus. see diarhea,squirts, hershey squirts, poo
After eating that burrito I had the worst case of splatter ass.
by Miguel January 4, 2004
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ass splatter

The spray painting of one's bowels on the backside of a toilet bowl and underside of toilet seat.
Man, I went to the public restroom and there was some serious ass splatter on the toilet. So I took a piss instead.
by piratemaxx February 15, 2009
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Log Splitter

Fecal incontinence while wearing thong underwear, most commonly performed by extremely drunk females.
Sally pulled a log splitter last night after she passed out.
by Onigato December 23, 2014
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chocolate shotgun splatter

The brown speckles left on the public toliet seat after a good projectile dump.
Yo. check it. There was some pee stains on that comode in REI.I didn't want to sit on, so I just ass levatated and blasted the comode with a chocolate shotgun splatter
by jvermin December 28, 2007
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The Sputtering Johnson

A close relative to the Clevand Steamer and Hot Carl. It is when you shit diahrrea all over a bitches chest.
In an effort to be as disrespectful as possible when preforming The Sputtering Johnson on a bitch... she must drive you to Taco Bell, pay for your tacos, and let you eat them all on the way home.. knowing full well the end result of this trip will be her convered in diahrrea..
by The Realist NY August 4, 2009
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