Critter: Used to describe someone who has been arrested no less than ten times for petty shit. Someone who is on a first name basis with local police and jail staff. A crackhead, meth-head and/or drug addict. It is rare that drugs are not involved but it does happen. Most often someone who is one step above being homeless. Also someone who will steal your stuff then lie to the cops. Has no more than 5-6 teeth and whose face looks like a coffee cake. Generally works odd job for no more than 2 months due to constant arrest. This is also a person who finds employment through various manual labor temp places like Rent-A-Drunk. Mostly found living with other critters. Usually drives a shitty beat up pickup or a sub-compact Toyota.
Hey dude, check out that guy over, is he walking our way?
Bro, lock your shit. RJ says that guy is a critter.
Mike, look at all those crackheads. I saw a couple of those critters picking up cans and looking through trash being Bob’s Liquor Store.
Hey man, whose the new guy holding sweeping the yard?
You gotta watch that guy, I got him from Rent-A-Drunk, he’s a critter.
Bro, lock your shit. RJ says that guy is a critter.
Mike, look at all those crackheads. I saw a couple of those critters picking up cans and looking through trash being Bob’s Liquor Store.
Hey man, whose the new guy holding sweeping the yard?
You gotta watch that guy, I got him from Rent-A-Drunk, he’s a critter.
by Tronald John Drump October 17, 2021
Get the Critter mug.by Pheaseant October 31, 2011
Get the critter mug.Similar to homie, critter is a word used to describe acquaintances and companions, but only those of the spooky variety.
Me and the critters were haunting the playground the other. We scared the heebiejeebies out the little wankers fucking down there.
by Warble808 May 18, 2023
Get the Critter mug.guy: "hey, what is that?!"
girl no.1: "what is what"
guy: "that drawing! the little guy with eyes and shoes so big!"
girl no. 2 sprints up to girl no. 1 and guy
girl no. 2:" You seriously don't know what that is? Is your brain so hollow you fail to comprehend the existence of such a simple, yet complex, creature!? You disgust me. You should be ashamed to ever show your face in public again! Whenever you walk outside, looking at the blue sky and beautiful clouds, thinking of the lovely day ahead, I hope you are reminded that you never deserved that peaceful moment for the absolute horrid thing that you will never get away from. I hope, no, I know that you will feel like John Mayer on July 7, 2023 when you do such as ponder about the world beyond the cave full of rats and appalling smells you live in. You should be ashamed for not recognizing the delightful image girl no. 1 drew so carefully on the canvas in front of you."
guy pauses, thinking of a way to react. it doesn't matter, girl no. 1 speaks up.
girl no. 1 "that was hot"
In the end, girl no. 1 and girl no. 2 married each other just a few days after the incident. Their wedding cake was shaped as none-other than critter himself. We don't know what happened to guy. But, we don't really care.
girl no.1: "what is what"
guy: "that drawing! the little guy with eyes and shoes so big!"
girl no. 2 sprints up to girl no. 1 and guy
girl no. 2:" You seriously don't know what that is? Is your brain so hollow you fail to comprehend the existence of such a simple, yet complex, creature!? You disgust me. You should be ashamed to ever show your face in public again! Whenever you walk outside, looking at the blue sky and beautiful clouds, thinking of the lovely day ahead, I hope you are reminded that you never deserved that peaceful moment for the absolute horrid thing that you will never get away from. I hope, no, I know that you will feel like John Mayer on July 7, 2023 when you do such as ponder about the world beyond the cave full of rats and appalling smells you live in. You should be ashamed for not recognizing the delightful image girl no. 1 drew so carefully on the canvas in front of you."
guy pauses, thinking of a way to react. it doesn't matter, girl no. 1 speaks up.
girl no. 1 "that was hot"
In the end, girl no. 1 and girl no. 2 married each other just a few days after the incident. Their wedding cake was shaped as none-other than critter himself. We don't know what happened to guy. But, we don't really care.
by tableclothsmeller68 May 30, 2023
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by william westmoreland October 25, 2023
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