couch monster

an overweight, lazy, typically jewish friend who constantly passes out on friends, family and co-workers couches at any time; mid-day, evening and latenight.

look at jon, drooling on himself with his hand down his pants - completely disregarding the fact that it's noon on Saturday - damn Couch Monster.

by beeebrown February 16, 2009

Couch

couch - an offensive term used to diminish someones social standing. Inferring that the person in question enjoys anus on his/her face.

A amicable term in some social spheres.

Bro: yo dude do you have my dolla?
Dude: nah brah spent it on da high grade mon
Bro: damn it ,you couch.
Dude: WTF that body part is primarily for excretion, don't defame my reputable character.

by Udcontributor April 30, 2014

Understanding the Couch

A state of being or acceptance achieved after friend/s have ruined a possession or piece of furniture via sexual activity.

See that frown, Lil Mike and Matt understand the couch real well.

by Bogart December 2, 2004

whore couch

a couch that a whore sleeps under and then grabs you buy the ankles when you sit on it.

dude, watch out!
your sitting a whore couch

by savanna April 23, 2004

caught the cancer

one doesn't 'catch' cancer, it just kind of comes around! plus, there are hundreds of cancers, not just one! ie: WHICH cancer? -to say 'the' cancer, is delightfully ignorant!!

wheres' jon been? -didn't you hear? he caught the cancer!
what kind?, i don't know!, just 'the' cancer! -must have been gut cancer, he used to eat a lot of shit sandwiches!!

by michael foolsley November 25, 2009

Couch Burrito

When you buy a big ol' burrito with every ingredient possible, stick it in a girl's vagina, then fuck her senseless ON A COUCH, and cum inside. Then, you have her pull it out and eat the entire burrito.

Bro #1- Dude, my girlfriend was totally cool with doing a couch burrito last night!
Bro #2- No way man! Don't tell me you didn't get any guac on the ritto.

by Brotract those angles September 26, 2010

couchlock

When you do not have the strength to get out of your seat, at all, or just do not have the will to.

I've been couchlocked looking at T2B at 2betrayals.proboards23.com

by BringMeCloser April 20, 2005