The most majestic footballer to ever stroll the planet. Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t just exist — he blesses the world with his every breath. When he drops his AirPods, they don’t hit the ground - the Earth catches them. He once waved at someone and three countries declared a national holiday. Scientists tried to study his footsteps and accidentally discovered a new element: GOATium. When Ronaldo opens a pack of gum, the wrapper folds itself out of respect. He once yawned during training, and a solar eclipse happened. His mirror doesn’t reflect him — it watches and learns. And don’t even get me started on when he sips water — each gulp echoes through the multiverse as a reminder that perfection exists. Cristiano sneezes? A stadium sells out. He blinks? A volcano calms down. He stretches before a match and gravity takes a break. Honestly, at this point, Ronaldo doesn’t live in reality — reality adjusts to Ronaldo.
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Legend speaks of a man who memorized the sacred texts, no one has seen him ever since he ascended
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