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lobsterbation

1. A woman purchases a live lobster.
2. She inserts the tail into her vagina.
3. She burns the lobster's face (for maximum class, she uses the Virginia Slim she's currently smoking).
4. The agitated lobster will wiggle its tail, recreating the effect of a vibrator, albeit an oddly-shaped one.
After putting together her Hoosier Hysteria High School Baskteball puzzle, Erin retired for a relaxing evening of Virginia Slims and lobsterbation.
by ssaaaammm September 7, 2005
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Lobsterbating

A form of rigorous masturbation that renders you breathless and causes your face to redden from exhaustion.
As a teen I was very fond of Lobsterbating.
by loreleibooks July 25, 2011
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Lolsturbation

When one amuses oneself far too heavily, too often, and as a result, laughs out loud at their own jokes frequently.
Man, this chick always laughs at her own jokes. It's like a serious case of lolsturbation.
by Pseudo Hanyou October 29, 2009
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listerbate

{verb} Describes a pitiful male's autoerotic process of pouring Listerine on one's hand and/or penis before/during masturbation, usually not because of penile desensitization, but because the male is trying to simulate a listerjob.
(listerbated, listerbating, {noun} listerbation)
I decided to listerbate last night, but it burned like hell and my johnson got all sticky. Also, I spilled Listerine on my mattress, which now smells permanently like gargling.
by Leroy Brown 420 January 31, 2009
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loserbater

someone who masterbates while doing it poorly...obviously. Someone who can't fuck themselves right..or worse, and likely never to have a girlfriend.
mr.bean and pee-wee herman are loserbaters.
by hot-rod-god August 29, 2010
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Loiterbate

i love to loiterbate while waiting for the bus.
by boner team 1 April 26, 2011
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Lobstergate

A public reaction from an observation by world famous astrologer Chris Brennan that some artists randomly substitute the zodiac sign cancer with a lobster. The Cancer constellation is shaped like a crab, and its symbolism is lost as a lobster. This caused much reaction in early 2019.
Jimmy: Are you tired of lobstergate yet?

Gary: I am but it bothers me to see people believing that lobsters and crabs are the same animals.
by Jimyee97 February 28, 2019
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