1. A woman purchases a live lobster.
2. She inserts the tail into her vagina.
3. She burns the lobster's face (for maximum class, she uses the Virginia Slim she's currently smoking).
4. The agitated lobster will wiggle its tail, recreating the effect of a vibrator, albeit an oddly-shaped one.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods