offense kleptomaniac 

Someone who, when they find an offense that isn't nailed down, will take it, even if they have no connection at all to the person or group that would supposedly be offended by the "offense" in question. This malady is often found in those practicing political correctness, though not exclusive to them.

"What's he complaining about? He's not even affected, it has nothing to do with him whatsoever."

"Oh, he's an offense kleptomaniac."

offense kleptomaniac by nohbody January 1, 2009

kleptomaniac 

a muthafucka that just can't seem to keep their hands of of other people's shyt. For example, a person who goes into Wal*Mart and just has the urgency to open a pack of permanent markers just to steal the red and green ones, or the crazy ass classmate that walks by and blatantly takes your brand spankin' new lead pencil off of your desk.

This kleptomaniac bastard just walked by and took my damn napkin...

kleptomaniac by 20Breezy09 May 8, 2009

kelptomaniac 

A person who compulsively steals seaweed.

Police arrested the young kelptomaniac after witnesses spied him shoving sushi wrappers into his jacket.

kelptomaniac by amfv June 20, 2011

narcoleptic kleptomaniac 

-The sleepless stealer. A person who only steals or is a theif at night just for the heck of it.

narcoleptic kleptomaniac- Ex: A sleep walker or someone who thinks they're "Cat Woman."

narcoleptic kleptomaniac by Niqua @@ November 7, 2010

Kleptomaniac 

A clever individual who shoplifts objects frequently from places of retail. Especially for someone they take interest in.

TJ is my favorite kleptomaniac, he stole this watch for me, I wear it everyday.

Kleptomaniac by Nikki828 March 22, 2017

Alcohol-induced kleptomania 

A feeling brought on by alcohol that creates an irresistible urge to steal random items. The individual suffering from this condition may or may not be a kleptomaniac in everyday sober life.

Cop #1: The suspect apparently polished off three old-fashions and snagged a DVD from the victim's house.

Cop #2: Classic case of alcohol-induced kleptomania.

Alcohol-induced kleptomania by PatD13 June 9, 2012

Kept Woman 

A woman used only for cooking and cleaning, usually married.

She used to be independent now she’s a kept woman.

Kept Woman by Kaybird March 1, 2019