kleptomania
Link suffers from kleptomania, i mean he wanders into peoples houses and robs them blind, and they don t stop him.
kleptomania by cpt. turtle June 12, 2005
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Kleptomania
Kleptomania by Raj-Verma October 22, 2019
Drunken Kleptomania
Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.
These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?
If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.
FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.
These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?
If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.
FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.
John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.
There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...
"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"
The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.
"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."
Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.
There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...
"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"
The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.
"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."
Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.
Drunken Kleptomania by Jimblor April 7, 2009
Alcohol-induced kleptomania
A feeling brought on by alcohol that creates an irresistible urge to steal random items. The individual suffering from this condition may or may not be a kleptomaniac in everyday sober life.
Cop #1: The suspect apparently polished off three old-fashions and snagged a DVD from the victim's house.
Cop #2: Classic case of alcohol-induced kleptomania.
Cop #2: Classic case of alcohol-induced kleptomania.
Alcohol-induced kleptomania by PatD13 June 9, 2012
Klepentomaniac
Someone who has irrestible urges to take writing implements. Klepentomania is a common disorder, and its sufferers are frequently accused of being "pen thieves" when they can't help what they're doing because they are attracted to the ownership of the perfect pen.
That woman is a Klepentomaniac.
Klepentomaniac by Robbo_HarveySpectre September 8, 2019
Cyber kleptomaniac
I cannot help myselfdownloading. I am compulsively downloading all sorts of files from the internt and leeching like theres no tomorrow. I grab what I can when I can almost as if a kid in a candy shop stealing all the sweets . I am a Cyber kleptomaniac a leech, help me.
Cyber kleptomaniac by Firmstone June 21, 2008
kleptoBenia
The Act of subconsciously stealing pens, chewing and drooling on the caps. Then, once realized that there is enough lubrication, massage and eventually penetrate the brown eye for anal masturbation purposes. This may be done by going to town on one's self or a gay friend.
Pater: "That tosser Ken is such a kleptobeniac".
Andrew: Yae I know, I hear Scott walked in on him in the act. Then, he was bragging about Ken going straight kleptoBenia on his ass and how they executed a synchronized Kleptobeniation.
Andrew: Yae I know, I hear Scott walked in on him in the act. Then, he was bragging about Ken going straight kleptoBenia on his ass and how they executed a synchronized Kleptobeniation.
kleptoBenia by cheeser696 May 13, 2011
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