Hegseth

A straight guy who can't stop sucking dick and eating the ass of a bloated, orange octogenarian while farting Cheeto dust and humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic and stroking off Putin and Netanyahu.

OMG! Look how patriotic that hegseth is. What a roll model.

Hegseth by Skip the Obtuse June 4, 2025

Hegseth

A desperate act of a deeply closeted gay male trying to avoid beeing outed; especially power bottoms. Designed to deflect attention from their obvious love of men and reenforce their heterosexual image in the public eye.

Donald: "I have to admire that macho vibe of Pete. He's all man; just like Arnold Palmer."
JD: "Sir, I'm sorry to report there's a new web video of him going down on Lindsey"
Donald: "Shit. Call DOD, Tell them I've authorized deployment of an emergency Hegseth"

Hegseth by hesgottogo June 4, 2025

Hegseth

A rectum that is unclean, off coloured, marred by fecal matter, cluttered with detritus and often accompanied by a foul odour. With adequate cleaning a Hegseth can return to being a regular and functional rectum.

Toilet roll was clinging ceaselessly to Harry’s anal beard, the smell of his Hegseth ostracised him with his peers.

Sandra’s high fibre diet left her with a chronic Hegseth - the doctor recommended high pressure spritzing and a bleach colonic.

“Bruh, this Hegseth is itchy and smells roadkill soufflé. Never swim in stagnant water man.

Hegseth by CheazyE April 3, 2026

Hegseth

The stain and what's left behind after a dog rubs their ass across a carpet.

Dammit! The dog left a hegseth stain on the carpet! There's hegseth all over!

Hegseth by udclarity April 21, 2026

Hegseth Jager Bombs 

When you drink a bottle of Jager and accidentally share classified bombing plans.

I started the night with a nice steak and bottle of wine, but next thing I know I’m doing Hegseth Jager Bombs again.

Hegseth Jager Bombs by WhereYat March 26, 2025

Pete Hegseth 

A pseudo-patriot on Faux News. The one thing smarmier than Sean Hannity and nastier than Truffle Butter.

Steve: I bet you don't own 51 American flags! You must hate this country!
Sarah: You're being a Pete Hegseth. Go suck off Putin!
Steve: I already have!

Pete Hegseth by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

Pete Hegseth 

A TV host and author who is now the nominee for Secretary of Defense in 2025, wants an "American victory" to be the end of globalism, Islamism, secularism, leftism, and enviormentalism. Although, he has fought Iraq and Afghanistan wars, he also is being accused for sexual assault.

Man, Pete Hegseth is kind of weird!

Pete Hegseth by popbulligan December 5, 2024