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hamstercam

n. a slang term used as a substitute for 'colonoscopy'
v. to have underwent a colorectal examination either medically or in jest by friends and acquaintances.
s. Bob went under this afternoon to get hamstercammed by that creepy doctor with the spam hands...guess that's why he can't sit properly.
by Art Terry February 14, 2009
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hamsterbating

the hamster version of masturbation
even though they are actually cleaning themselves, it looks more like they are pleasing themselves
Bruno: Hey man, what in the world is your hamster doing?
Alfie: Oh, don't worry about it, he's just hamsterbating.
Bruno: Gross man, you need to get him a woman!
by Hamster man November 11, 2006
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hampsterman

An abomontaion of nature, one parent being a hampster one being a disturbed human with a furry rodent fetish and another parent being satan himself.
Forever tormented by his heritage, illigitamacy as human or beast, ugly-beyond-belief appearance that makes babys cry, woman scream and men suck thier thumbs from kilometers away.
Doomed to be hated by all living and non-living things the hampster man has taken the form of a terribly illiterate and dumbassed teacher at a below average shit hole school in Brisbane, Australia.
The hampster man can be identified as a retarded looking creature, he is short, stumpy and balding due to the stress of his sin-against-nature life he has chewed off all of his fur except for the small amount ontop of his head.
The hampster man is known for unexplainable fits of furry and anger where he will yell for little or no reason endlessly. these are reffered to as hampsterman-splosions.

The hampsterman song:
Who can take a sunrise away
Sprinkle it in poo
Cover it in gay
and a satanic ritual or two?

The hampsterman
The hampsterman can
The hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate and makes the world a horrifying place

Who can take a schoolday
Wrap it in a death wish
Soak it in the blood of babies
and make a terrifyingly shit history lesson?

Children(in fear): The hampsterman?

The hampsterman
The hampsterman can
The hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate and makes the world a horrifying place

The hampsterman makes
Everything he does
horrifying and disgusting
Talk about your childhood wishes
Forget those, your hampsterman's bitches

Who can take tomorrow
Douse it in kerosean
Quadruple the sorrow
And cover you face in his "cream"?

The hampsterman
Children(crying in terror):the hampsterman can

Tom: The hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate
And makes the world a horrifying place
And the world is a horrifying place cause the hampster man thinks it should
"Fuck you hampsterman you suck."
by Richard Butler June 20, 2007
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hamstertape

Usually duct tape or similar strong tape used to wrap around the hamster before doing the nasty with it so that it doesn't burst.
'Hey Pete, nice hamster you have there! By the way, do you have any tape I could use?'
'What are you going to do with it?'
'Have you ever heard of hamstertape?'
by bobgren May 29, 2009
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hamsterdance

To start a thread on a message board which has previously been started by others.

Derived from the ubiquitous YouTube "Hamster Dance" videos.
"HAMSTERDANCE!!! We talked about Sarah Palin's plastic tits yesterday, dumbass. Why don't you pay attention?"
by Carrite March 16, 2009
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hamstering

When a person or company tries to get out of a situation, by finding a loophole to get through, or coming up with some kind of bullshit excuse.
Much like a hamster tries anything to escape its cage.
Damn insurance company is hamstering out of paying me.
by oknowpublishthis March 2, 2008
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hamsterism

After-the-fact rationalization of sexual behavior by a woman, to avoid cognitive dissonance.
After Jenny got drunk and banged her boss at the Christmas party, she justified it to herself with the hamsterism, "I'm not a slut--he tricked me into it!"
by Col. Tigh November 9, 2013
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