The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
by Leeds Dr Rudeboy December 3, 2010
Get the Festive Faeces mug.A feeling of nausea, typically accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence; often leading to gross and ill-timed defecations.
Friend: "Hey man, you don't look so good."
Me: "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit fecescious. It was probably the Taco Bell."
Friend: "I feel that. Just make sure you don't diarrhea all over the place."
Me: "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit fecescious. It was probably the Taco Bell."
Friend: "I feel that. Just make sure you don't diarrhea all over the place."
by I Fly Dairy Air April 17, 2012
Get the Fecescious mug.Related Words
Fiece
• fieces encrusted anal orifice
• FIERCE
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• feces pieces
• 'fiene
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• fincel
On the bob and tom radio show whenever a news story involves shit in some way they honk the feces horn
There was a story in the news about a woman who fell from the upstairs balcony of her apartment, as luck would have it a maintenance crew was working on the septic tank so she landed in a pile of raw sewage which broke her fall and she was not injured. (Bob and Tom honk the feces horn)
by Michael_Hunt October 17, 2008
Get the feces horn mug.The worst possible insult ever. When this is used, the entire Earth is engulfed in Flames, the Sun explodes and the Moon crashes into Earth.
Tom: ur mom gay
Me : no u
Tom: ur dad lesbian
Me: ur sister a mister
Tom: ur brother a mother
Me: ur granny tranny
Tom: ur grandpap a trap
Me: ur familiy reunion homosexual communion
Tom: ur family tree LGBT
Me: ur ancestors incestors
Tom: ur race has gayes
Me: Want me to use it asshole?
Tom: i dare you
Me: UR SPECIES FECES!
*everything dies, the earth is on fire is englufed by the Sun.
Me : no u
Tom: ur dad lesbian
Me: ur sister a mister
Tom: ur brother a mother
Me: ur granny tranny
Tom: ur grandpap a trap
Me: ur familiy reunion homosexual communion
Tom: ur family tree LGBT
Me: ur ancestors incestors
Tom: ur race has gayes
Me: Want me to use it asshole?
Tom: i dare you
Me: UR SPECIES FECES!
*everything dies, the earth is on fire is englufed by the Sun.
by ElectrodeYT May 19, 2018
Get the ur species feces mug.by The original Greebs December 29, 2015
Get the Reese's feces mug.Science teacher: "...and at the end of the digestive system, waste products are excreted in the form of faeces."
Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."
Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."
by HelloMyNameIsNoneOfYourBusines February 12, 2010
Get the Faeces mug.Bill, you griznoid, would you like to go to Barfy's, Hardon's, Taco Smell, Jackoff in the Box, a barf-n-puke joint, Shoplift 'N' Go, KWIK-RIP, Pizza Slut, or Feces Pizza to eat tonight?
by andy1 December 11, 2006
Get the Feces Pizza mug.