Cry Wanker

Pathetic excuse for a man. Like the above. Befriends women but due to screwed perception, mistakes simple friendship for sexual interest to the point of stalking. This always culminates in sobbing and self love in public places.

'Oh dear, Steve disappeared the night before thanksgiving. He was very drunk and upset with his housemate.'

'yes, for some reason he ran away to that Finnish girls house.'
'Really? The one who made it clear she is not interested in him?'

'That is the one. What's more she was off banging her fuck buddy while Steve sat outside her house.'

'Dear me! So what was he doing there that long?'
'Playing with himself and sobbing, you know what a cry wanker he is!'

by svenjamie November 10, 2014

Cry Wanking

when someone is overwhelmed with sadness but still on the horny train, you know what am saying. A cry wank is a mixture of crying because your a fat slob and wanking because your a fat slob who can't get a bird.

Sam&will bby

Yo bro you look sad fool, your defiantly a cry wanking tonight pussy

by Will lloyd April 14, 2021

wanky cry

1) A masterbation which is performed under circumstances of extreme sadness, to such an extent that the masterbater cries.

2) A masterbation which is had because the masterbater is so sad that a wank is the only way to cheer him up.

1) Chaz's wank was so upsetting that it became a wanky cry, and brought tears to all three eyes.

2) So upset at having just been bummed by Cuddles, Dave Walker had a wanky cry to ease the pain.

by Tino January 29, 2006

crywanking

When ur sad and horny. So you wank off and cry like a baby at the same time.

I miss Pam so much I had to crywanking myself to sleep last night.

by Nastypamsy March 25, 2016

crywank

a small anti-folk duo from machester, england. they've been around for almost a decade, yet still aren't appriciated nearly as much as they should be. they've made 11 albums and dozens of songs. the best way i can describe their music is like a depressed partner or friend giving you a comforting hug while crying, even though they are the sad one. just a really good band :)

person 1: "hey, what's your favorite band ?"
person 2: "oh, i just discovered this pretty small band called crywank, i really like their stuff."
person 1: "well that's an interesting band name !"

by no, i think i will February 1, 2021

Crywank

Crying whilst having a wank/masturbating. When life is that bad that you have resort to comfort wanking and kleenex.

Aww boohoo your team lost what are you gonna do? How bout go in the corner and have a crywank?

by thegirlwhocriedhippo February 3, 2010

Crywank

Crywank are a British anti-folk band based out of Manchester, England. The band is a duo consisting of vocalist/guitarist and founder Jay Clayton, and drummer Dan Watson, who joined in 2012. Allmusic describes their body of work as containing "sadness, paranoia, misery, and dry humor", comparing them to AJJ or 'a sarcastic Bright Eyes'. The group have independently released six full length albums. They have previously toured the UK, Ireland, parts of mainland Europe, Australia, and Canada.

Albums:
James Is Going To Die Soon – Self release, MP3 (2010) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown – Self release, MP3 (2012) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid – Self release, MP3 (2013) and Mutant League Records, 12" LP, CD, MP3 (2015)
Don't Piss On Me, I'm Already Dead – Self release, MP3, CD (2016)
Egg on face. Foot in mouth. Wriggling Wriggling Wriggling. – Self release, MP3 (2017) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Wearing Beige On A Grey Day – Self release, MP3, Cassette (2019)
Fist Me 'Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth – Self release, MP3 (2020)

That man over there listens to Crywank. He must have a large penis.

by Komuro February 17, 2021