Cry-Wanker 

Cry-Wanker: A man who has befriended a large number of attractive women, yet is simply unable to seduce any of them (which in turn causes him to cry whilst masturbating).

Also know as 'a-shoulder-to-cry-on', Cry-Wankers masquerade as 'nice-guys' in order to obtain a female's trust. As a result, Cry-Wankers are perceived to be non-threatening and are allowed close proximity to their 'friends', enabling them to warn said friends of other, more competent males.

Cry-Wankers are often coy and deceptive individuals, who lack the confidence to approach women in an ordinary manor. Due to this, they begrudgingly build long-standing friendship with women, in the hope that their targets will one day view them in a sexual nature. Thus, the Cry-Wanker able to masturbate normally, with a smile upon his face.

Cry-Wanker: It should have been meeeeeeeeee.

Cry-Wanker by Scouse-Truth November 14, 2011

Cry Wanker

Pathetic excuse for a man. Like the above. Befriends women but due to screwed perception, mistakes simple friendship for sexual interest to the point of stalking. This always culminates in sobbing and self love in public places.

'Oh dear, Steve disappeared the night before thanksgiving. He was very drunk and upset with his housemate.'

'yes, for some reason he ran away to that Finnish girls house.'
'Really? The one who made it clear she is not interested in him?'

'That is the one. What's more she was off banging her fuck buddy while Steve sat outside her house.'

'Dear me! So what was he doing there that long?'
'Playing with himself and sobbing, you know what a cry wanker he is!'

Cry Wanker by svenjamie November 10, 2014

Crywalker 

Noun: One who weeps while walking. Someone with a minor to mediocre injury at best; usually involving the knee or 'wittle finger'. No one ever cares about the crywalker, usually exaggerating the pain and making un needed weeping noises.

The crywalker moved slowly down the hall, limping and wailing in such a manner that the grown man appeared to look like a toddler crying to mommy.

Crywalker by TheExtremeDelusion December 3, 2010

Crywacker

A male who furiously masturbates while uncontrollably crying about how pathetic his life is

He always acts so depressed about being single, I bet he's a crywacker.

Crywacker by Little Demons August 25, 2017