Conker

The most badass, hardcore, motherfucking squirrel you'll ever know. He drinks. He urinates. He vomits. He's everything you'd ever want in a mammal.

My name is Conker. Insert movie parody here.

by Paul Newman February 8, 2004

Conker

A British term for the fruit/seed of a horse chestnut tree. Commonly called a chestnut.

Can also refer to the game called 'conkers' played using the chestnuts in which two opponents attempt to shatter the other's conker. The conkers are both suspended on a length of string and the players take turns to swing at the other's. The player with the conker last remaining on its string is the winner.

Young Boy 1: "Ouch man, you hit my finger!"
Young Boy 2: "Well that's the inherent risk of playing conkers my friend. You know what you signed up for!"

by ph4sma September 14, 2011

Conkering

The act of slapping a used tampon on someones face... swinging it like a conker fight.

Ali has just come on and took Chris by surprise by conkering him with her tampon.

by Conkered November 3, 2017

Conkered

When you're at a party and you feel really energetic when you have only had a few drinks, you're a bit tipsy and light headed but completely wasted.

In that confident and happy state.

Not to be confused with wankered which is when you are completely shit faced.

Another word for tipsy.

"I'm completely conkered!"
"But mate, you've only had two drinks?"
"I know!"

by DavidWood95 October 31, 2011

Conkering

"To play conkers with your testicles"

The aim of the game is to remove your opponents Testicle from his Epididymis rendering him the loser and impatent.

"Dave?! Fancy conkering"
"Go on then I'm bursting your nut"

by RarePoodle June 12, 2015

Conkers

Another form of Crazy

Also worth mentioning Conker the Squirrel.

Dan: Hey, did you hear about the lacrosse game? USA beat England.

John: No way! That's Conkers!

by Testi-clese June 29, 2023

conker

Slang: A penis or prick.

It's not my fault I have a huge conker.

by iCeD November 30, 2004