body like baywatch, face like crimewatch

Used to describe a man/woman who has a very attractive body which is let down by a face that looks like a mug shot.
This is a word play on two popular TV shows in the UK, Baywatch with muscled and tanned bodies and crimewatch a TV show highlighting criminal activity with many mug shots of scary looking offenders or wanted criminals.

See also BayCrime

She has a body like baywatch and a face like crimewatch.

by world March 22, 2005

angus bannatyne

an absolute giga mcnigga of a human being. the pinnacle of human evolution. this idea was once laughed about by scientists, but now it has turned into reality. with a 420 inch legendary spiraling shiny metal COCK, measuring a 69 inch girth, angus bannatyne is the closest a human has ever come close to becoming god himself.

"oh my fucking god look at that guy with his mega long schlong"
"yeah he is angus bannatyne"

by terryakichickn August 2, 2021

Bayntonette

The official name given to people obsessed with Mat Baynton. A British Actor, commonly associated with the children's television show, Horrible Histories, and is amazingly attractive. No one knows why exactly people love him, though scientists are looking into it. The typical Bayntonette is either a teenage girl who watches Horrible Histories songs and episodes on Youtube and loves Mat Baynton for the unknown reason, or a young child's mother who secretly adores said person, while watching the television show with her child/ren. Scientists have discovered that a Bayntonette finds Mat sexy, though it is unknown why. There are no obvious conclusions, given that he is a scrawny, mid-twenties, unheard-of actor, but the theory of "Humorous Attractivus" can be applied to said attraction. One thing is known for sure, Mat Baynton is sexy.

Teenage Girl: "OMG! Did you see the Dick Turpin song? Mat Baynton can do guy liner so well, it looks smexy."
Girl's Mother: "Yes, yes, yes! Totally made me a Bayntonette."

by SilkNinjaLily August 7, 2011

Baywatch

porn for adolescents

Have you seen Yasmine Bleeth running down the beach in slow motion?

by L.J. July 11, 2003

body off baywatch, face off crime watch

This describes a girl with an amazing body but an ugly face. see Skeletor

Can also be "body FROM baywatch, face FROM crime watch"

Itz the sort of thing teenage boyz snigger about with their matez but wouldnt actually go say it 2 the girl in question.

"that girl has a body off baywatch, face off crime watch, shame..."

by PedroXL September 30, 2006

Baywatch Fuck

During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be effective at this include -

* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer

Had a baywatch fuck last nite, i just wanted to piss your mum off.

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

Baywatch Speed

The inappropriately slow speed an individual engeages in a primary task at hand due to one of three things: lazyness, incompetence, lack of focus and/or focus on something they shouldn't be focusing on.

I'm sorry I'm late - the clerk checking my groceries was moving at baywatch speed because she was fat and was out of breath

by Willack October 16, 2008