Unemployment ecstasy despair 

The conflicting emotions one faces when one discovers that they have been terminated. First is a feeling of euphoria then dread, then mixed emotions that cycle frequently.

"John, you're fired you jackass!"

(John smiles a crooked smile)

"What's wrong with you John?"

"Unemployment ecstasy despair, boss"

Unemployment ecstasy despair by Cirdellin January 5, 2010

unemployment disease 

Also known as the state of perpetual happy hour.
When you lose your job and find yourself doing nothing but drinking and getting high all day and night. You know where all the good happy hour spots are. You fridge has nothing but beer and leftovers. You wake up hungover a lot and start drinking before 12. You begin to drunk dial your friends when they are at work.
Symptoms include but are not limited to:
not knowing what day it is
dehydration and nausea
day drunkeness
knowing a wide variety of bartenders
cliaming unemployment benefits and blowing it all at the bar
developing a high tolerance for booze
jealous friends

Dude, whats wrong with Sarah and Joel? Its only 2pm and they are fucking wasted!
Eh, dont worry they'll be all right, they just have a really bad case of the unemployment disease.
They should get better when they find jobs again.

unemployment disease by super sarah tc February 28, 2009

Unemployment Office 

A state agency where the unemployed go to get unemployment benefits, under the pretense that they are looking for work.

To go along with the pretense of the unemployed, bureaucrats usually try to get peeps to call the Unemployment Office the opposite of what it is, with euphemisms such as Employment Development Department, in California.

Unemployment Office by Downstrike November 2, 2006

shake hands with the unemployed 

British phrase, meaning male urinating.

"I'll be back in a jiff, I've got to go shake hands with the unemployed."

shake hands with the unemployed by Alexandra July 29, 2004

Unemployed Behavior 

An aspiring social media influencer who will film themselves doing stupid, embarrassing, illegal, heartless pranks with the goal of going viral and making a career on the internet.

He stole an old ladies dog and filmed it for clout. I can't stand this unemployed behavior

Unemployed Behavior by ttaasss June 16, 2023

shaking hands with the unemployed 

jerkin off

My girlfriend is out of town, so, I've been shaking hands with the unemployed.

shaking hands with the unemployed by Hairy Palmer January 24, 2003

Unemployment 

A symptom of the failure and insanity of modern society.

If there is something to do, then how can there be unemployment? There is work to do - we go do it. It's that simple.
And if there is nothing to do, can't the rich creeps just leave us alone?

No, they can't. Because unemployment was fabricated by the rich cocksuckers in order to keep wages down and keep the lower classes scared and busy. Because if you're afraid you might lose your job - which allows you to purchase tenancy/ food/ clothes from the rich - you keep your mouth shut and you keep working no matter how dumb the job is. And if the wage is shit you keep quiet because at least you're getting some dough with which to pay rent/ alimony/ student loans/ dinner.

Meanwhile we see the proliferation of computerization, robotization, mechanization, miniaturization, and other -zations - meaning there is less and less useful stuff left to do. Most work out there is bullshit. (At least) 70% of us can stop working today (everyone except the people doing real work, who incidentally are the worst paid - the farmers, the janitors, the maintenance workers, the construction workers, etc), and life will go on just fine. Except everyone will have more leisure and less worry.

But we can't have that. Oh no. The rich are just keeping us busy so we fail to notice how they are getting away with murder.

Unemployment is as dumb as planned obsolescence. The future generations will look at us with horror and derision.

Unemployment has found Joe:

Joe: Shit, I can't find a job.
Frank: You mean you are a strong, intelligent young person who is willing to work for the benefit of the rich, and they won't even let you do that?
Joe: Yeah.
Frank: So where do you live? What do you eat?
Joe: I live in my mom's basement. I eat macaroni and sometimes I eat cheese.
Frank: How do you fill your days?
Joe: Well, I don't like fat chicks, and the hot ones think I'm a loser, and I don't have enough dough for speed and smack, so I just drink vodka all day and I masturbate to Internet porn.
Frank: You know what, man?
Joe: I know.
Frank: Fuck the rich!
Joe: Exactly.

Unemployment by jack kane January 22, 2011