Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.

Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Jane Krakowski Effect

Named after the Ally McBeal series actress, this is a condition in which men literally stop in their tracks when looking at a woman that is completely physically stunning and flawless. It is sometimes marked by the loss of peripheral consciousness for hours or days as the male stares transfixed, feeling no pain nor hunger nor any sense of responsibility to attend to necessary matters. In war, the use of Ms Krakowski directly, via her surrogates, or her images to immobilize the enemy is expressly forbidden under any and all of the Geneva Convention agreements.

"Whoa Jake...You zoned out dude. One minute you were fine and the next you were comatose. Was it that blonde in the blue miniskirt?"

(Still in something of a stupor) "Yeah. I think so."

"Jane Krakowski Effect huh?"

(Beside himself now) "Is she here? The real one? Where?" (Jake fades out again lost in a mental image)

"Oh the blessing and curse of having the angel Jane Krakowski and her ilk living amongst us." (Jake's friend laments)

by Cirdellin December 29, 2009

Validation by proxy

To feel better about oneself by viewing oneself not as an individual but as part of a larger group. In this state, one need not accomplish anything oneself but can take great pride in the accomplishments of others as though they are personal accomplishments because the group is viewed a personal extension.

'Yea we won!"

"No the Steelers won. You just watched the game on TV."

"Same thing."

"No It's not, it's your validation by proxy."

by Cirdellin January 17, 2010

Work zombie

An employee who experiences a loss of consciousness that can go on for hours or days. In this state, he or she will have no memory at all of the work he or she performed. Also known as work autopilot and work robot, these are usually people who feel that they have no future in their own company. It is believed that the "lost" time is spent in internal calculation so as not to allow the brain cells to atrophy.

"Jones, you cretin. What were you thinking? Were you paying any attention at all to your work?"

(In a fog) "Sorry boss. I must have become a work zombie. "

by Cirdellin January 18, 2010

Master lesbianator

The older woman in some pornographic movies who orchestrates lesbian sex between two or more much younger women. Generally one or more of these younger women insist that they are straight. It is the master lesbianator's job to at first scold, then cajole, then direct the younger women in their lovemaking techniques. These women learn very quickly under her more mature tutelage. It is customary for the master lesbianator to sensitively praise the often formerly straight women after completion.

"Hey what's this old broad doing in this lesbian scene?"

"She's the master lesbianator. The other girls wouldn't know what to do without her."

"You're kidding me right?"

"I wish. The director is trying to be artsy."

by Cirdellin January 06, 2010

Blame domino

The phenomenon in which an employee is chastised by his or her superior and then feels compelled to chastise their inferiors. In a large organization, this can involve a large number of people falling like dominoes.

"Jones, you cretin! I just got my clock cleaned by my boss because of you. Rest assured that you will get yours now."

"Hey Smith, don't involve me in your blame domino!"

by Cirdellin January 12, 2010

NPR Rush Whiplash

The sense of absolute confusion that one feels when flipping the radio dial from National Public Radio directly to the Rush Limbaugh or any other right wing radio show. This has been known to cause liberals to feverishly vote for Barbra Streisand for every elected office on their ballots. In their delirium and panic in this condition, conservatives tend to vote for Sarah Palin's youngest child Trig. The ailment is easily treated by a steady diet of smooth jazz.

"I don't know what to do. I want to be fair about immigration but I am really concerned about illegal Lithuanians getting access to our health care system."

"You've been listening to NPR and Rush again, haven't you?"

"Yeah I think I have NPR Rush Whiplash."

by Cirdellin January 07, 2010