Turd Burglar

somebody who uses the end of their dick to fish out poo from another man's ass and then felching feces and semen out of the other man's anoose

"It looks as though you caught yourself quite a crunch up here Peter, this Turd Burglar may take a while . . . mind if I spit on it?

by Husker McNuggets September 22, 2009

Turd Burglar

To hang a shit and have it disappear straight through, never to be seen. It can be accomplished after not going to the toilet for an extended amount of time.

Dude where's my shit? I've been Turd Burglared again!

by Bellman Steve Muchow February 9, 2009

Turd Burglar

To sneak into someones house, and rob a turd they have left in the pan. Can often carry away the turd from the crime scene in the mouth for later use.

Person A: Omg somebodys in my house
Turd Burglar: No worries, it's only your friendly neighborhood Turd Burglar

by Shed2005 February 24, 2008

Turd Burglar

The mysterious act of giving birth to a brown trout so large you think it will clog the loo, but strangely, all that exists are slide marks where the turd once was

I took a dump so large I was sure it would look like a mr whippy cone but there was nothing there...The Turd Burglar strikes again

by Burg_69 March 9, 2009

Turd Burglar

someone who snatches the turd out of the toilet before it hits the water while someone is pooping

I was pooping the other day and that guy turd burglar ed me.

by kamikazi282 January 15, 2009

Turd Burglar

Someone who cleans port-a-potty's and/or septics for a living..

Also a portable container used to empty the septic holder of trailers/rv's when bringing them to a waste disposal location isn't possible..

Our rv broke down before we could empty the waste tank and we had to bring in a turd burglar as the stench was getting pretty rank in the summer heat.

by Urban English honor student May 21, 2018

Turd Burglar

When you finish shitting and go to wash your hands, and then turn back around to flush, only to find that your turd has been stolen, leaving only skids and turd covered fingerprints

Recently I’ve had a number of shits disappearing, I think we have a turd burglar on our hands

by J Bag/ Dirty Jamo February 25, 2020