seltzer boy

originally conceptualized by the great visionary, chaos druid.

in theory, a seltzer boy is everything and he is nothing.

he is an abomination to the elements, destroying all that lies in his way.

The most common beverage for a seltzer boy is indeed, a 5% strength White Claw, Truly, Pure Still, or some variant of the newly popular "Alcoholic Seltzer Beverages" popularized by white girls mostly on social media.

some say, to this day the seltzer boy has never been found.

we're in houston and the airbnb is fior as hell. time for another classic episode of the seltzer boys!

seltzer boys doing it live, we in it!! just chugged a full case of claws and headed to the gym

guy 1: did you hear anthony's a seltzer boy?

guy 2: nah bro he got kicked out we can't give him anymore chances

by yunowelcomehere September 9, 2019

Shower Seltzer

The seltzer you take into the shower when you're in a hurry to go out and still need to get cleaned up, or want to relax from a long day.

Guy 1: Hey man, get going! We've got to leave in 20 minutes and you haven't even hit the shower yet!
Guy 2: I'm going, I'm going.. I haven't even started pre-gaming yet, what am I going to do?
Guy 1: No worries, I've got your solution. Take a shower seltzer.

Awesome Girlfriend: Hi honey, how was work?
Tired Boyfriend: It was stressful, my boss yelled at me and he wants me back in the office this weekend.
Awesome Girlfriend: Wow, what a day. Well don't worry, I'll start the shower and grab you a shower seltzer.

by Marit50cal July 1, 2020

It's only smellz

When you fuck someone in the ass and pull out, and your Johnson is greased in shit, and you tell her to suck it - but she says no, then you say, "It's only smellz" and put the Johnson in the mouth.

CmonBaby... It's only smellz

by JohnMadsen424 February 23, 2018

Texas Seltzer

(n.) The act of putting your mouth over an anus that wants to fart.

I got one brewing. You thirsty? Can I offer you a Texas Seltzer?

by Yoggie2010 December 27, 2010

Seltzwhore

A person who is addicted to, is a connoisseur of, or deeply appreciates seltzer water.

I've really become a huge Seltzwhore since I quit drinking soda.

These millennials and their goddammned La Croix are fucking Seltzwhores.

by g0d5m15t4k3 July 22, 2019

Simonize my sideburns I'm Smelted!

When things totally go wrong for you. Screwed over; a bad time is coming.

Oscar: You just lost the game for us dude!
Jason: Simonize my Sideburns I'm Smelted!

by Butt-Face Magee August 22, 2018

Smokeasity Smeatzle

–noun

1. Slang.
a. a cigarette, especially one loaned after many loans, a refusal and eventual relenting by the loaner.

-verb
1. Slang
a. the act of smoking a smokeasity smeatzle.

Joe: hey, could I bum one?
Jim: No! I gave you like ten already, I've only got a few left!
Joe: Come on man! Lemme get a smokeasity smeatzle!
Jim: Fine, here.
Joe: Sweet!

by Fliptacular June 19, 2009