A mythical creature, very dangerous in both violent and sexual ways.
(It's name derived from its giant sexual organ the schlone.)
If you get too close to a slonebacker that does not like you, it will rip you to pieces and feast upon your genitals and private parts.
If you get too close to a slonebacker that does like you, unless you have informed it of not being sexually active with slonebackers it will,
In a man's case: stick its schlone in your ass amd rip with such force not many survive.
In a woman's case it will mount her backside only, and shove its schlone in the most general areas much like a human would do.
(It's name derived from its giant sexual organ the schlone.)
If you get too close to a slonebacker that does not like you, it will rip you to pieces and feast upon your genitals and private parts.
If you get too close to a slonebacker that does like you, unless you have informed it of not being sexually active with slonebackers it will,
In a man's case: stick its schlone in your ass amd rip with such force not many survive.
In a woman's case it will mount her backside only, and shove its schlone in the most general areas much like a human would do.
I read once about a schlonebacker in a fairy tale, the hero was the last warrior that had not been anally torn by the schlonebacker and was able to defeat him.
He made a war trophy from the Schlone of the schlonebacker
He made a war trophy from the Schlone of the schlonebacker
by Acey December 3, 2005
Get the schlonebacker mug.by Albear June 7, 2005
Get the schlonghand mug.Related Words
A measurement of the male genitalia taking into account the largeness of ones balls in comparison to the length of ones manhood.
by Deevolution January 14, 2008
Get the schlongatude mug.1. A friend of the schlong, but nothing serious
2. A sock or other concealing material meant to gently warm the penis in cold weather
3. Cohabitants, such as testicles, hair, lint, mites, etc.
2. A sock or other concealing material meant to gently warm the penis in cold weather
3. Cohabitants, such as testicles, hair, lint, mites, etc.
1. I'm a bit shy, so my schlongbuddy Mike helps me by hooking me up with his leftovers.
2. My schlongbuddy comes in handy as a buffer during freeballing which prevents painful zipper error.
3. You call them crabs, I call them schlongbuddies.
2. My schlongbuddy comes in handy as a buffer during freeballing which prevents painful zipper error.
3. You call them crabs, I call them schlongbuddies.
by OrkTheFork January 10, 2011
Get the schlongbuddy mug.The Schlongagangflaung is a schlong (dick) in a gang that can fling cum around to impregnate women with gang babies that will turn into men and join the gang. Making the has it the most superior gang on the block
Guy#1: I heard the other gang has a Schlongagangflaung.
Guy#2: OH SHIT, IMMA HAVE TO JOIN THAT GANG!
Guy#2: OH SHIT, IMMA HAVE TO JOIN THAT GANG!
by Adam with a dream October 14, 2020
Get the schlongagangflaung mug.The sorority girl had a schlongboard for her dildos.
by Coop Dupe June 14, 2018
Get the schlongboard mug.To strike anything and anyone, but especially the face of a sexual partner or as a punitive or compensatory action subordinate, with one's penis. Typically (but not exclusively) achieved with a semi-erect to erect penis, held to one side and then released to execute a springing action. The success of a schlongwallop is generally measured by the resulting smack; indeed the sheer force of a good schlongwalloping is what sets a schlongwallop apart from a simple dick slap, and (possibly apocryphal) at least one veteran schlongwalloper claims to have rendered a victim unconscious with his best wallop.
In some American states such as Minnesota (but never Iowa), men possessing unusually large penises may alternatively achieve a successful schlongwallop simply by twisting the torso, or even engaging in an extended spin of adequate duration to strike multiple targets (a "spinning schlongwallop"). Another variation - considered by some aficionados to be a completely separate maneuver - is the linear schlongwallop, wherein a penis is extended perpendicular to the direction of travel, e.g. outside of a bus window or while prancing sideways.
When announced in advance but with no target indicated, a schlongwalloping is understood to be directed at the closest person's face.
In some American states such as Minnesota (but never Iowa), men possessing unusually large penises may alternatively achieve a successful schlongwallop simply by twisting the torso, or even engaging in an extended spin of adequate duration to strike multiple targets (a "spinning schlongwallop"). Another variation - considered by some aficionados to be a completely separate maneuver - is the linear schlongwallop, wherein a penis is extended perpendicular to the direction of travel, e.g. outside of a bus window or while prancing sideways.
When announced in advance but with no target indicated, a schlongwalloping is understood to be directed at the closest person's face.
1) $7?! If this isn't the best fucking caramel macchiato ever, I'm going to schlongwallop everyone in here.
2) Yesterday my ex-girlfriend complained that when she woke up I was sporking her, so this morning she woke up to a good schlongwalloping right in her resting douche face. Bye Felicia.
3) Other than losing that testicle at the car wash, my friend Reb has all the luck. The first time he stuck his dick out the subway train window it overshot the station and he schlongwalloped like thirty people before anyone knew what was happening. And then he got a penis enlargement so now he goes out at night and fires off knuckle children all over the mushroom stamp print and artist's rendition posters the cops put up while yelling "bust this!"
4) Did you know Reb once went to Comic-Con dressed as Spongebob Squarepants? Here's the thing: he was upside-down, walking on his hands the whole time. His dick was the nose and his lucky testicle was one of the eyes. Everybody thought he was just being affectionate with all the eskimo kisses. They'll never catch that guy … at least not for the Con Ball-Up Schlongwallop of 2019.
2) Yesterday my ex-girlfriend complained that when she woke up I was sporking her, so this morning she woke up to a good schlongwalloping right in her resting douche face. Bye Felicia.
3) Other than losing that testicle at the car wash, my friend Reb has all the luck. The first time he stuck his dick out the subway train window it overshot the station and he schlongwalloped like thirty people before anyone knew what was happening. And then he got a penis enlargement so now he goes out at night and fires off knuckle children all over the mushroom stamp print and artist's rendition posters the cops put up while yelling "bust this!"
4) Did you know Reb once went to Comic-Con dressed as Spongebob Squarepants? Here's the thing: he was upside-down, walking on his hands the whole time. His dick was the nose and his lucky testicle was one of the eyes. Everybody thought he was just being affectionate with all the eskimo kisses. They'll never catch that guy … at least not for the Con Ball-Up Schlongwallop of 2019.
by schlongwalloper January 18, 2022
Get the schlongwallop mug.