I'm Helping

The utterance of a mentally retarded employee in a fast food commerical from the 80s. Used ironically to signify the utter unhelpfullness of the help being offerend. Repopularized in the Bizzaro episode of Sealab 2021.

After spraying wasp poison in your friend's eye in an attempt to drive away a bee: I'm helping!

by Bizzaro Poot August 26, 2006

Mates helping mates

Homosexual activity disguised as "male bonding".

"Did you hear that Chad and Nathan got drunk and beat each other off?"

"I didn't know they're gay!"

"They're not gay....Thats just mates helping mates, you know?"

by Toddoo May 26, 2007

helping hand

Assistance given to someone who becomes tired while providing a handjob.

While Dick Cheney was giving me a handjob, but was too tired to continue, I took hold of his wrist and gave him a helping hand. The helping hand provides a somewhat similar experience and sensation to the Stranger in the Night.

by Jon Vermillion and E.B. August 22, 2005

Helping-Hands Job

A sexual maneuver where a male sits on his knees. His partner sits behind him so that their chest touches his back. The partner then reaches underneath the male's armpits and extends their arms outward. The male will then fold his arms over his partner's and hides his hands behind his back. The partner then gives the male a hand-job is such a fashion that an observer may believe the male is using his own hands. The concept is likely born from the game called "Helping Hands" on the popular television show "Who's Line is it Anyway".

My girlfriend gave me a helping-hands job while I looked in the mirror so it looked like I was masturbating without having to put forth the effort.

by peggy87 July 29, 2010

helping richard out of the pool

When you have to use extreme strength to get your dick out of a girl's pussy when it is in too tight.

Girl: Let's stop, my dad is going to be home any minute!
Boy: Alright, let's get dressed.
Girl: What are you waiting for, hurry up!
Boy: Hold on, I'm helping Richard out of the pool.

by ONEY RULES ☝ October 25, 2014

Heebing

Heebing is the process of charging interest on anything lent.

If you let a friend borrow a movie, you charge him interest.

If you let your girlfriend borrow some money, you charge her interest.

Etc.

The collection of interest due takes many forms; sex, drugs, rock n roll, none of which were invented by Heebs, just privatized by them.

Prostitution was invented back in the Old Days when Jews (Heebs) figured out how to charge interest for sex.

This is known as Heebing.

by Jacques Asse March 19, 2010

van helsing

one who goes after ugly women at night while intoxacated and wakes up feeling like he spent the night hunting for monsters

"what happend last night, and why do i feel like van helsing"

by clint February 23, 2005