Featureschmerz

The existential despair caused by unused functions on electronic devices and appliances.

Every time he contemplated all the cryptic little icons on his cell phone’s screen, Walter was so overcome by featureschmerz that he couldn’t even place a call.

by Jessica Jernigan August 12, 2007

Knobb Features

A word to describe an individual whos facial features resemble male genitalia and a has personality to match. Typically found in inbred areas such as the black country and Bognor Regis.
Typical Names for such individuals: Timone, Geoff and Rich(most common).
Typical job: Tattooist, Taxidermist and Triangle player.

Warning signs you are meeting a "knobb features":
Over gesticulation from said person and your urge to vomit

Walking into a pub/street/on the bog, "Alrite Knobb Features" then poke and run.

by Dyke_with_a_bite April 22, 2007

flatuessence

The pungent aroma of a fart that slips past a turd, which puts a smile on your face and the look of disgust on others.

I was sitting in the middle row of a packed house in church, touching cloth, percolating, suspecting the inevitable uncontrollable dropping of pre-shit farts. I looked around in joyful disbelief at the flatuessence of the situation, I was now alone sitting in my own pew.

by LocalHero July 30, 2007

pap features

A comeback commonly used by people who enjoy childish insults and who cannot think of a decent comeback at the time of insult.
Can also be a term of endearment for sadistic friends.
See "fuckbag" and also "shiteface"

"Shut it pap features."
"What you up to pap features."

by Disco_Magnet March 6, 2009

Faytures

"Faytures" a colloquial term used in the west of Ireland (mainly Galway) to call out to another person as a form of greeting, eg; "Hay Faytures". Also used occasionally as a way of teasing another person or purposely creating confusion in a conversation.

"hay Faytures", "sponge bob square faytures"

by johnb6669 May 4, 2010

bitch-features

Excellent thing to yell at a female driver who has just absolutely pissed you off.

"Hey bitch-features, do you want me to get out and park it for you?????"

by ckerr16 March 13, 2008

Slut Features

A chick that looks like she would just take dick.

FUCKEN SLUT FEATURES !!

In a night club or walking down the street and you see a chick with slut features who you know would just take dick got that real slut look about it !!

by Mother_Fuckin_WHAT September 25, 2009