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Cracker-Barreled 

(Verb) 1. When you are confronted with an unexpected (and usually unwanted) shopping experience; usually in the form of a gift shop.
"When I got off the roller-coaster, the exit path lead me right into a gift shop."

"Sounds like they cracker-barreled you."
Cracker-Barreled by AtomicKoi April 23, 2021

crackbeast 

(NOUN: "crackbeast," henceforth abbreviated as "c.")

1) A crack addict; or, more loosely, one who consumes excessive quantities of drugs of any kind. (e.g., Amy Winehouse).
2) A particularly strange or eccentric person (not necessarily a drug abuser; e.g., Howard Hughes).
3) One who is freakishly talented; often a prodigy (e.g. Franz Liszt).
4) An animal whose appearance is generally disturbing or otherwise-odd (e.g., most reptiles).
5) Any bizarre fictional character/creature which is generally disturbing or otherwise-odd (e.g., any character but Alice in Alice in Wonderland).

(VERB: "to c.")

1) To go on a drug binge.
2) To consume anything (in general) in a particularly voracious manner.
3) To behave in an especially intense, eccentric or depraved manner.
4) To do something particularly quickly, yet very effectively and completely.

(ADJECTIVE: "c." "c. -ful" "c. -ly" or "c. -y")

--A quality of, or pertaining to, any of the above NOUN forms.

(ADVERB: "c. -fully" or "c. -ily")

--A quality of, or pertaining to, any of the above VERB or ADJECTIVAL forms (NOTE: The latter of these two categories would be far too "c.fully c.ly" to actually hear spoken, so don't worry about having to negotiate the meaning of this adverbial form of c. modifying its own adjectival form, or qualities pertaining thereto, EVER AGAIN!!!)
***EXAMPLES OF USE***

(As a NOUN:)

{Liz:} Hahah, what if cigarettes weren't meant to be smoked, and instead they were just packaged in those little paper cylinders because that's exactly the amount you'd need to break open and completely fill both ears with tobacco!!

{Zak:} OH my GOD....YOU'RE a CRACKBEAST!

(As a VERB:)

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a fictionalized account of Hunter S. Thompson and Oscar la Costa crackbeasting around town for a weekend in Sin City.

(As both an ADJECTIVE and an ADVERB:)

Allen was absolutely shocked--but nonetheless quite crackbeastfully aroused--to discover that his date's apartment was decorated entirely with explicitly phallic art. His own cock sprang to attention, and the two men fell to a crackbeastly fit of fucking right there in the foyer, as per Bill's design...
crackbeast by finkels January 1, 2012

Crackarrhea 

When you take a hit of crack, smell crack or just think about smoking crack and instantly get the urge to shit or get explosive diarrhea.
Danny boy cashed in enough cans to get a $20 rock and the thought of coppin alone gave him crackarrhea
Crackarrhea by cookiesandtits March 31, 2019

Spread him on a cracker 

A phrase used in response to seeing someone good-looking to emphasise how attractive you find them. You are essentially saying that someone is so attractive that you could eat them.
Kim: Did you see Chocolat?
Michelle:Yer, I love that film. Johnny Depp is so sexy in it.
Kim: Totally! I could just spread him on a cracker...

crackberry shuffle

The tendency for blackberry users to aimlessly shuffle about while typing. This combination of typing and attempted walking usually results in aggrevating everyone around them.
Will was near my desk today doing the crackberry shuffle.