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concussive narwhal syndrome

*concussive narwhal syndrome (n.) - { sydromius concussive narwhalius } the result of getting into boxing match with a narwhal and getting hit, resulting in a severe concussion. followed by narwhal syndrome which can cause the victim to rapidly turn into a narwhal and/or the following:

bruises, sores, headaches, blisters, temporary blindness, diabetes, hearing loss, concussions, acne, congestion, deepening of the voice, impairment, lung cancer, OCD, alektorophobia, Mexico, racism, fever, rapid change in skin color, stupid, brain aneurysms, ADHD, insomnia, binge eating, bipolar depression, color blindness, pregnancy, Jake from state farm, dementia, hallucinations, household object eating disorder, heart failure, t-rex disease, lactose intolerance, obesity, swelling, standing on walls, high cholesterol, claustrophobia, compulsive cannabilism, Canada, phobophobia, chronic liver failure, dyslexia, back pain, asthma, COPD, pollen allergies, corpse husband, PTSD, black plague, hysteria, carbon monoxide poisoning, genesis, rapid change in race, hanahaki disease, chronic shrinking, autism, bioterorism, couch potato syndrome, dad went to get milk disorder, death, armageddon, disbelief in narwhals, etc.

* this is not real

UPDATE on concussive narwhal syndrome study: it causes everything, you can't hide. you have it. your mom has it. your dog has it. the weed in your front yard has it.

narwhals rule over us
gabby: " yea, my dad doesn't believe in narwhals"
riley: "oh- he must have concussive narwhal syndrome"
by gawrmochiii September 13, 2022
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conducive

Tending to contribute to, encourage, or bring about some result.
Working conditions are not conducive to productivity.
by Giftediq May 29, 2009
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conducive to my situation

an intelligent-sounding way to state whether or not a certain outcome is likely or possible.
even though i really like that Frank, his lack of a job is not conducive to my situation.
by that_sassy_girl January 14, 2011
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Concussive Maintenance

The act of smashing ones head against a possibly broken object, but usually out of frustration, until that person begins to think they have fixed it.
He performed concussive maintenance on his keyboard until his brain thought he had done enough to get good
by Regisfuror May 19, 2020
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collusive

The act of trading players (in secret) in a fantasy league, so that you "stack" a certain team, to benefit one of the managers so that this team becomes a dominant force, also know as conniving. By the way I did it, it's illgeal to do.
"Wow, Ryan and Nick are really good at the collusive crap, were getting screwed."
by Nicholas K. May 3, 2006
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conclusive

A type of attitude where one instantly jumps to conclusions. Sometimes after doing so he/she refuses to hear anything more to lift this attitude.
Woman (acting conclusive):
"I know what you did..."
Man:
"Ok if you would let me explain--"
Woman:
"YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU?!"
Man:
"No that's not it I--"
Woman:
"FINE!! IT'S OVER!!! WE'RE THROUGH!! I'LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!!!"
by Dave February 11, 2004
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Convasive

A combination of Confusing and Evasive. When you seriously don't know where you stand with someone AT ALL! One moment they are acting like your mate and the other they are all distant etc. V Annoying!
Seriously Matt is SO convasive atm, one minute he's being friendly and the next he's blanking me. It's times like these that I find myself agreeing with Marcia...
by MurphyMarcia16 June 18, 2010
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