Balmered

The result of too much MDMA (usually when also heavily under the influence of alchohol) in which one doesn’t know what they are doing, where they are, who they are with, and who they are themselves. It results in them saying things which make absolutely no sense to the people around them, and met with a loss of reality

Jake: Have you heard Ben? He was asking me “where’s the brush” before almost going into a random persons house, claiming it was his Nans.

Sam: Oh no, he’s Balmered again

by EvilStudMuffin November 5, 2017

climbing Mount Ballmer

The act of drinking heavily in order to achieve a blood alcohol level of between 0.129% and 0.138%, which was discovered by Microsoft in the late 1980s to confer "superhuman programming ability" via some unknown cause.

"It's Friday night, but I have a ton of code to write. I guess climbing Mount Ballmer is my only hope."

by jokeocracy January 24, 2014

Ballmer peak

A supposed "peak" in programming ability caused by alcohol. The term was coined by an XKCD web comic: http://xkcd.com/323/. The phrase is in reference to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who generally acts pretty crazy, much like an angry drunk, and hence the alcohol joke.

Somewhat ironically, Ballmer never wrote any production code while at Microsoft. His background is in business rather than engineering, though he is renowned for his ability to perform difficult mathematical calculations mentally.

I finished that programming assignment in one night thanks to the Ballmer Peak.

Man, they really must have overshot the Ballmer Peak when they wrote Vista.

by colonel forbin's ascent October 23, 2008

Arnold Ballmer

When you have to piss right after cumming - both of which are stored in the balls.

"Do you know where Steve went?"

"Yea, he said he had to go make an Arnold Ballmer then he'll be back."

"Ah, hope it comes out alright."

by 🅱elix June 26, 2020

Bawler

Bawler, Player, Pimp, Willy

Someone with money or status in the neighbourhood, a player or bawler. Who has allot of girls around.

by Bas December 18, 2004

ballmer

(verb) to loudly say what you wish were true, in the vain hope of convincing other people despite all evidence to the contrary.

(noun) a nonsensical or counterfactual statement uttered with an air of desperation.

(verb) 'That cute chick I met yesterday is totally going to sleep with me', ballmered Josh. 'She has the hots for me so bad.'

(noun) He didn't offer any actual facts. He just trotted out a few of the usual ballmers.

by eat more chicken March 20, 2009

Bawler

1. A word to define idiots who can't spell "Baller"

2. A person with money or status who are unsatisfied with those things, and constantly complain about their awesome life

(2) BAWLER: Man, I crashed my Lamborghini Gallardo into another bus full of super-model cheerleaders, then, cause they knew who I was, they proceeded to gang-rape me and dragged me to an awesome party hosted by Diddy, where I got to meet Snoop Dogg, who smoked me out with a weed who's name I can't even pronounce, Eminem was there and gave me the rest of the shrooms he was getting rid of, then I ran into Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga, who proceeded to pull me into a threesome, video tape it, and sign a release giving me all ownership rights to the video, and now tomorrow, I gotta go shoot a video with them, cause they like my voice... I'm exhausted!

My life sucks.

REGULAR GUY: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

O o BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
/¯¯/_o___o___o___o____o__
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by Absnt_Mindd_Profsr July 8, 2010