Affirmation

The acknowledgement of a colleague's job well done. It was first invented by Enda McKenna in 1947 in his magnum opus on "Motivation of Female Staff in the Male Dominated Workplace". Its purpose was to recognise the added value brought to the business world by women after the Second World War; such as round-the-clock provision of biscuits, coffee and sexual favours. More recently, affirmations have become a desired method of motivation by both sexes. Traditionally, affirmation is delivered by a firm, open-handed pat to the posterior. However, there are many variations; such as the "Snap-To" where a short, sharp delivery results in surprise, awe and a warm after glow. Softer versions are the "Double" and "Triple" pats where two or three affirmations are delivered in quick succession to confirm the high level of performance currently being delivered. The third and rarely used version is the "Spank and Linger". This is when the affirmation is singular but contact is maintained, conveying the message of a job well done, worthy of additional "rewards".

Winston: Did you see that annual report that Miss Wells drew up?
Charles: Yes... jolly good for a woman. Perhaps an affirmation is deserved?
Winston: Excellent idea, a Spank and Linger I think.
Charles: Here she comes now.
*spank*... linger
Miss Wells: Oooh!
Winston: Good report. See me after work!

by Miss Tessmacher November 2, 2010

Ashirmation

Undeserved affirmation that has been demanded by a needy person - normally some kind of celebrity

Ash: Hey, everyone, I acted like an ordinary decent human being
Rose: oh, good
Ash: HEY, EVERYONE, I ACTED LIKE AN ORDINARY DECENT HUMAN BEING
Rose: What do you need, a medal, or just a bit of ashirmation?

by ninjar November 4, 2014

Affirmationists

A team of people who validate/confirm your perceptions, feelings, ideas, etc

My affirmationists boosted me out of my depression

by Shell true December 18, 2016

Affirmatron

Required in situations where a "Yes" or a "I Understand" just simply doesnt cut it....

Person 1: We have 18 seconds til the planet we are on simultaneously combusts and erodes, within 10 seconds we shall be eaten by carniverous zombies.... and you ask me what is the best option at Subway????

Person 2: Affirmatron.

by The M-Train May 19, 2009

The Fry Affirmation

In an argument between two or more parties, at any time one party may invoke the Fry Affirmation. That is to say if that person can find any documented evidence that Stephen Fry broadly agrees with their stance on the matter, then said person automatically wins the argument.

Please note the Fry Affirmation applies to documented evidence only. If you happen to have Stephen Fry to hand during an argument please see Fry Arbitration, The for more information.

Maisy: Can you action this for me please?

John: Sure... If you can ask me again without brutalising my ears with your ugly noun/verbage. I don't see why in the 20th Cen... What... What are you doing?

Maisy: I'm searching for a video that I think may interest you.

John: Oh... Wait a minute. Are you about to invoke the Fry Affirmation? Because I'm...

Maisy: Here we go... To paraphrase: Mr Stephen Fry thinks we should relax about the ever evolving use of language and he specifically references the acceptability of nouns used as verbs.

John: I'm sorry - You were right. If you need me I will be actioning that task you gave me.

by axolotl5 October 10, 2011

Affirmationists

A team of friends who affirm (validate, confirm) your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, beliefs etc.

The affirmationists boosted me out of my funk

by Shell true December 18, 2016

red square of affirmation

While on facebook, the red square signals that someone responded to your post in some fashion.

For fanatic fb'ers, it is a wait-and-see hunger and satiety experience.

After I posted the concert photos, I got 6 red squares of affirmation.

I could see the red square of affirmation from across the room. It made me very happy.

by Mumsie dogma March 14, 2011