A Christian University in Grand Rapids, Michigan U.S.A. Known for its Jesus freaks, hot snobby bitches, and shitty investments. Has a 99% acceptance rate because they don't hesitate to financially rape someones' pockets for $47K a year. Doesn't have any real sports. 100% "dry" campus. If you fuck someone in the dorms, they will kick you out. About 90% of the student body is composed of social retards who go there because they grew up in sheltered, Jesus loving, god fearing communities and are attempting to add four more years to avoiding the real world. Most students graduate in over four years due to the schools' curriculum of required theology and other bullshit classes that real schools don't teach. The student body is about as ethnically diverse as Toronto, Ontario (roughly 70% white, 30% asian, and about six blacks). The asians generally stay with one another and avoid white people like they're going to put them in concentration camps. Most of the guys are skinny dickless choches. The very small number of athletically toned guys have no problem tearing through the poon like it's spring break. The girls are stuck up twats who use their religion as an excuse as to why they claim to be virgins. Every girl there will put-out for a guy if his family is rich. Everyone there will piss themselves at the notion of atheists and other non-christian people. Best way to get someone to jerk off in front of you is to start talking about Jesus.
Normal college student: "So what did you do this weekend?"
Calvin University student: "I went to chapel and praised Jesus by the seminary pond. How about you?"
Normal college student: "I went to a party and got shitfaced then proceeded to show my genitalia to everyone and ended up waking up in a bed with two women and a pool of vomit next to me. It was about the usual."
Calvin University student: "You're going to hell."
Calvin University student: "I went to chapel and praised Jesus by the seminary pond. How about you?"
Normal college student: "I went to a party and got shitfaced then proceeded to show my genitalia to everyone and ended up waking up in a bed with two women and a pool of vomit next to me. It was about the usual."
Calvin University student: "You're going to hell."
by ItsTheRabbi October 31, 2019
Get the Calvin Universitymug. calvin goldspink is a member of s club 8 (s club juniors)
is the hottest boy alive.
stars on the television program i dream
is the hottest boy alive.
stars on the television program i dream
by Sam Cremme April 7, 2005
Get the calvin goldspinkmug. Jesus or an Orgasm in a book. The closest equivalent of this is sex or bingeing on several pounds of chocolate, cookie dough, McDonalds, and several joints.
by purple jesus June 28, 2005
Get the Calvin and Hobbesmug. by toesocksfuxer April 7, 2005
Get the calvin goldspinkmug. To turn on/arouse members of the opposite gender with stunning looks and a huge wang hanging from one’s crouch area; to have sex with baddies in the drug store casually and because you can; to use one’s tongue in provocative ways in and around one’s genitals.
Right Rosey, tonight you’re getting the Calvin special.
I didn’t plan on having anal sex, until she asked me to go down on her & pleasure her hairy gootch with a Calvin special.
I didn’t plan on having anal sex, until she asked me to go down on her & pleasure her hairy gootch with a Calvin special.
by D Nasty December 1, 2020
Get the A Calvin specialmug. A phenomenon that occurs under Calvin's hat. Its existence is unknown and is rumoured to quite literally be nothing.
by funnynumber6969696969 May 3, 2023
Get the Calvin's Hairmug.