quizzing the captain

To masterbate.

Last night my wife walked in on me while I was quizzing the captain.

quizzing the captain by Captain Failure the third February 11, 2009

Lash captain 

One who leads and encourages the excessive consumption of alcohol at an event. They more than often lead by example.

George Best was arguably the lash captain supremo.

Lisa is being such a lash captain tonight!

That bloke is hardcore, I bet he's the lash captain.

Lash captain by Jimbob6988 March 31, 2009

thank you captain obvious

What you reply to someone who has just said something completely stupid and obvious.

Joe: Wow it sure is hot here in the desert huh?
Tom: Well thank you captain obvious...

thank you captain obvious by puje November 11, 2009

Plate Captain 

Slang for waiter, as used by Zaphod Beeblebrox

"Hand me the rap-rod, plate captain"

Plate Captain by Me April 9, 2004

lane captain 

The douchebag holding up traffic by driving under the speed limit - applies to any lane.

I wish this lane captain would get the f*ck outta my way.

lane captain by pipercat99 December 27, 2007

True captain 

An inspirational leader capable of swaying peoples opinions with the tip of his finger! A born leader, bent on helping those in need and caring for each of his followers. He is a patriot to his ideals but sometimes contradicts them. But that just makes him closer to humanity. His ideals are hipocracy and moralism. Mostly he is a moralist. True captain's needs outweigh the needs of the many.

1) True Captain DOES NOT BUY BOOTS
2) True Captain: faceless void is the true carry, every other hero is support
3) True Captain runs away at full HP. he needs to survive... for the greater good.
4) True Captain never hesitates to run from a illusion with a chronosphere.
5) True Captain never buys bottle, he gets void stone on every hero that is mana dependent
6) True Captain buys butterfly. period.
7) True Captain does not buy TP. He just doesnt need it!
8) True Captain will brainswap to get the kill. Always.
9) True Captain has inhuman reaction speeds and will do one of the following:
a) Windstick the hero that clockwerk/pudge is going to hook
b) Banish the person that a morphling waveforms into
c) Gets Hooked By teammate pudge.

10) Following up on 9c) True Captain gets hooked. Always.
11) Following up on 10) True Captain gets arrowed. Always.
12) True Captain carried! With two divine rapiers (droped from opponent)
13) True Captain has the ability to mezmerize opponents with unpredictable moves, making them stunned - literally and unable to think properly.
14) True Captain Crits. Always.
15) True Captain does not play support heroes (except drow ranger - silence is a support skill)
16) True Captain Bactracks. EVERYTHING.
17) True Captain does not get first blooded, if he does the game does not count.
18) True Captain knows proper grammar.
19) When True Captain wins, prepare to hear the Walrus Clap (along with giggles)
20) OMG True Captain is evolving... ting ting ting.... True Captain has evolved into Noobiestnoob

True Captain has pwned PicNik
True Captain has pwned Berbagod
Double Kill!
True Captain has pwned Pudginator
Triple Kill!
Killing Spree!
True Captaion has pwned Lord_of_War :(
Ultra Kill!
Dominating!

*Giggle + Walrus Clap*

True captain by PicNikPic May 28, 2011

The Captain 

Insertion of the pointer finger in the anus, inducing climax. Can only be practiced on males.

A little known fact, due to his debilitation from polio, FDR could only achieve climax through use of the Captain. (too soon?)

The Captain by Dan Lohman August 10, 2002